Episode 01: Call me MP
So here we go,
Ever wondered what the weirdest thing Dominatrix MP has been asked to do? Find out in this podcast, the very first of many.
On this episode we officially introduce the very talkative MP! She shares her opinions, every day life, the struggles, ups and downs, negativity, clients, weird requests and funny stories all associated with being a Dominatrix. With a whole lot more to come soon.
Essentially I just keep firing questions at MP about life as a Dominatrix, I ask her some of the tough questions along with some lighthearted, banterous questions that we all want to know the answer too?
New episodes each week.
Transcript (Auto Generated)
Welcome, welcome, ladies and perverts, to my brand new podcast starring me, Dan Vandal.
And today I have with me the very beautiful MP.
Hello, hello, hello.
How are you doing?
I'm well, thank you.
How's your week been?
Busy, busy, busy.
Yeah?
Yeah.
What have you been up to?
Smacking naughty boys around.
Again?
Guy, you thought you'd got bored of that?
No, never.
It's how I get my fitness in.
It's my cardio, pegging young boys, smacking them about.
Good Lord, you're a monster.
I'm a beast.
Right, so this is our first podcast.
It's crazy, right?
It's so crazy.
You excited?
So excited.
So I've got a few questions for you.
Just to sort of introduce you to everybody.
I'm just going to sort of go with it, right?
Is that okay?
Shoot.
Shoot, right.
So the first one I've got for you is do...
Have you got like a lot of friends and family that know about your side hustle?
I would say yes, but only because I'm a really open person.
The people that I feel should know about it, know about it.
My friends, we like to have a bit of a laugh about it.
You obviously know about it.
I know about what?
About me being an MP.
Wait, what?
About me being a badass bitch.
Uh-huh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, quite a few people know about it.
The people that need to know know about it, and some other people know about it too.
There's some people that I won't tell.
Why?
I don't know, because some people aren't ready to handle it.
You reckon?
Yeah, some people can be really judgy.
You're worried about the negative connotation that goes with doing what you do, right?
Yeah, because some people think that we're just jazzed up prostitutes.
And there's nothing wrong with prostitution.
If you want to be a sex worker, go girl.
But yeah, it's a very different world from what you'd class as sex work.
So yeah, people can kind of get lost in that.
Why does it bother you so much?
Why does it bother me personally?
I don't know.
I haven't really thought those through.
I just suppose because I have my normal life, as you would say.
And your vanilla life, yeah.
Yeah, my vanilla life.
And I just, yeah, I like to keep two separate sometimes.
Yeah, that makes sense.
You can't, yeah, you don't really want things to cross over too much.
And you, so I'm assuming you have like a...
Okay, well, I know you have like a vanilla group of friends.
Yeah.
And then you have your...
Kink friends.
Kink friends.
Is that what we call them now?
Yeah, kink friends, like kink-friendly.
People that I'd get involved in.
If, say, someone wanted a session and wanted someone to watch them being humiliated, then I would call upon my kink friends as opposed to my vanilla friends who would be like, what the fuck?
Yeah, we've discussed that before, haven't we, not getting into this sort of thing with...
People that we know.
You don't really do it with friends and family.
Actually, saying that, one of my DOM friends, Miss Laura, she got her friend involved, and her friend actually did a nasty on her and underhanded her.
I know.
And now that's their friendship.
Shout out, Miss Laura.
And their friendship is completely in tatters now.
Whoops.
Shacked, as we would say.
Wowzers, that's not good.
So is Miss Laura, she's a good DOM friend?
Yeah, Miss Laura Coates, she's been great.
She's been really supportive.
It's really hard to find in the DOM community your own way sometimes, especially if you're newer to the scene.
It's very clicky.
So you have the people that came before you a massive respect to all of them because without them, it wouldn't exist.
But then, yeah, when you're trying to find your feet and you're very new to the industry, it can be really daunting.
And you have so many different types of DOMs.
A big thing that I've seen recently are InstaDOMs, we call them.
InstaDOMs, okay, tell me more.
Yeah, so InstaDOMs.
They are the showgirls really, the ones that will give the brilliant content, pictures.
I'm this, I'm that, but don't do any real time sessions.
The Twitter Findoms as well, this seems to be a huge thing since COVID's happened, that there's been an influx of young girls who are just like, pay me, pay me, you little pay pig.
You showed me this before, right?
Yeah, so it's just a huge thing on Twitter where there's just loads and loads of girls with no experience, no thought to aftercare, no training of any form whatsoever, going into Twitter, writing, oh, I'm a mistress, I do this, I do that, I'm a goddess, send me your money.
And for the most part, it can be really harmless, but sometimes it can be really, really dangerous, especially if you have a submissive with slightly mental health issues.
It's been a big thing about it.
This sounds like this, what did you call it?
What did you say it was?
No, the other one.
Twitter.
Twitter what?
FinDOMs.
Twitter FinDOMs.
It sounds like this Twitter FinDOMs might be a sand in your vagina kind of moment.
Kind of upsetting, right?
Does it sort of tarnish what you guys do?
Yeah, it does.
It gives us a really bad name.
It's like, if you ordered something off Wish, you could have a real DOM, which would be great, which would be top caliber DOM.
It's done lots of real time sessions, and then you get your Wish DOM, and it's a real low, basic sort of no training, has just learned off the internet, doesn't have a single dominant bone in the body.
It's just an act.
So it's not even like somebody that's just starting in this world.
Yeah, some young girls start like that, but it's generally, they start off, especially the FinDOMs.
It's more of a joke to real DOMINATRIXs.
We sort of laugh at other FinDOMs because-
And FinDOM is financial domination.
Yeah, it's financial domination, but there's like hundreds of thousands of them on Twitter now.
And it's really ruined the scene.
It used to be a really good scene, and it used to be really easy for what we call pay piggies to contact a DOM and get their services.
But now it's been so oversaturated by this particular type of domination from people that don't really know what they're doing.
And they tend to con people that it's harder and harder and harder and harder to actually act on that fetish properly because people don't understand it.
They're just saying, give me your money.
And then they do some sort of like, fuck you, you silly bastard.
They're just, they say some derogatory words and that's about it really.
They just abuse them.
And there's so much more to that.
There's a lot more aftercare.
You've got to be careful with what you say.
And a lot of these people don't understand limits.
A lot of them are 17 to 18 year old girls just trying to make a quick buck.
Ouch.
Surely they can get money from mummy and daddy to go McDonald's now?
They don't need to go and do this.
No.
There's got to be easier ways to earn it.
Well, it's easy.
Oh, maybe there isn't easier ways.
No, it is easy.
Because if you're a pretty young girl and you don't mind putting pictures up on the internet, you don't even have to be a pretty young girl.
You can be a catfish.
You can use a pretty young girl's pictures and someone will still fall for it and pay you some dollar.
Oh, I have no doubt.
Yeah, when men are horny and they have their dicks in their hands, they're very manipulative.
You can manipulate them very well.
Yeah, I can understand that.
I've got a pair of shoes from a horny man with a credit card.
Yeah, I know.
Thanks for that.
So you've been doing this a very long while, right, this gig?
You've been doing it a long time?
Yeah, so I started off in the kink scene.
I went to a couple of parties.
I've always had sort of kink-friendly friends.
The kind of parties?
The German dungeon porn parties.
You know, the kind of parties where people play hard trance and wear gas masks.
Those kind of parties?
Techno, techno, techno.
Yeah, so I've always been into sort of exploring my sexuality from a really early age.
And I've been in the scene for quite a while.
And it was about two or three years ago that someone said to me, oh, you should really, you know, charge for this.
You're dominant, you're bossy, you're great.
Why are you not doing this professionally?
And then I was just like, why aren't I doing this professionally?
And then I, yeah, I've just was like, I've got the skill base.
I'm always evolving.
I'm always developing my craft.
And yeah, and so I've just gone for it.
Good.
And here we are.
Why not, right?
Yeah, why not?
So when you started doing it, who was one of your big influences that made you go, actually, yeah, fuck it.
Why not?
Let's just give it a go and see what happens.
So there's a local one to where we are, and her name is Nikki Whiplash.
She's been in the business for over 15 years.
I know.
It sounds like one of those names you hear on, what's that program you watch on the drag queen thing?
Oh, RuPaul's Drag Race.
It sounds like one of them.
But she's incredible.
She has worked her butt off for 15 years.
She's bought a massive mansion house thing with a dungeon, everything.
She is living the dream.
And she's bought that somewhere up in Hampshire.
And she brings out some brilliant content, and she's done all sorts of tours.
She's done double doming.
And so, yeah, that's someone that I really looked up to, because it's inspiring, especially when it's so local.
Another really...
Is she still doing it now?
Yes, she's still doing it.
She's incredibly popular.
How old is she, roughly?
Oh, gosh, I think she's like late 30s.
Yeah, I think she's late 30s, late 30s.
I don't want to offend anyone, I don't know.
But she's a blonde bombshell, and she's brutal.
She's really brutal, and I love that.
Another massive influence for me is Sybil Troy.
She's just fantastic.
Yeah, I've heard the name.
If you want anal fisting and your balls chopped off, then she's your girl.
Yeah, she's fantastic.
She actually married one of her submissives.
Yeah, and he's a photographer.
Len Weasel, he is on Twitter.
But fantastic, fantastic couple.
And yeah, two really good influences of mine.
Good.
That sounds pretty amazing.
See, I think quite a lot of people get into this sort of thing, as happens quite often, as like a direct result of watching something like this on TV, such as 50 Shades of Grey.
No, 50 Shades of Grey.
You're not going to get into it from 50 Shades of Grey.
Bonding.
Yeah, bonding is more realistic.
Diary of a cool girl.
Yeah, not for DOM work.
Bonding was good.
I enjoyed that.
That was a good show.
Yeah, no, it was really, really good.
And there was lots of instances that I'd been in, which were quite similar.
How similar is it then?
How similar is the show like bonding?
I would say bonding was probably the more accurate.
Yeah.
It was definitely more accurate.
But in which way?
Just the whole session when she was doing the breath play with the other mistress learning under another DOM.
The fact that, you know, dungeons and things are under threat constantly by, I don't know, the law, pressure for money.
The man, I think they call it.
The man, the patriarch.
But yeah, no, there's, which is crazy, really, because most of the people complaining about it are the people that come and see you, especially politicians, they're the worst.
Yeah, you've got one of these, right?
Yeah, one of them, one of the guys making the laws is...
You've got one of these in your little black book, haven't you?
I have, yeah, I have.
Give us a name.
No, no names, never.
Never.
You will never pry them from my dead cold body.
So in that bonding series, there's quite a lot of, there's a series too, I think, where there's a madam or madame, and she's teaching other DOMINATRIXes.
That's something you're starting to do a bit of now, right?
Yeah, yeah, just sort of coaching.
I think it's really important that you learn under another DOM, or if you can't just go in there blindly, it's dangerous.
What we do is a craft, and you have to learn it.
You wouldn't just turn up to a job and say, oh yeah, I can do all of this, and then sort of blag your way through, because people will see through you straight away.
Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely.
They're pretty, these people that come to see you have generally, they come and see other mistresses first.
So, you know, you don't want to look like an amateur when they turn up.
You should do like a badge system like they have in the Scouts.
You've got your first ball whip badge.
Well done, you.
That would make life a lot easier for a sub that's trying to find a DOMINATRIX.
Girl Scout badge.
Yeah, have a little Girl Scout badge.
To be fair, like.
Or like stars like they have in McDonald's.
That would be a lot easier, right?
It would be really good.
Have you got, like, because it must be really difficult for a submissive, especially somebody that's never been and seen a DOMINATRIX.
To find a proper DOM?
To find one and, like, contact them and speak about the kind of stuff they're into and what they do and don't like and stuff.
Well, like, give me a brief rundown of what you would want us, how you would want a submissive to contact you.
Okay, I was going to.
Like what they should say and stuff like that.
You know what I mean?
Can I talk?
Yes, I can talk.
I can always talk.
So basically, what happens is if you're a proper mistress, you generally have your own website.
And on there will be like your list of services, tribute prices, a gallery, things like that.
So that's one option.
If you Google mistresses and things like that, it will normally come up with like a professional mistress website or elite mistresses, or there's different websites and mistresses will add their thing to the ad of their thing, the advert to this like forum.
And then you can go from there.
A lot of people go on FetLife, Twitter, Instagram.
There's all sorts of things.
Like generally, if you use your brain and you've not got your dick in your hand at the time that you're searching.
Surely that's why you do this though.
Yeah, but when you're searching for the right person, don't be doing it whilst you're all like, horrified like, oh, because you'll just end up paying any old person.
Yeah.
It's, you know, it's got to be something that's actually organized.
You can't just say, oh, I fancy this right now.
And then boom, it's not McDonald's.
It's not a drive-thru.
You can't drive through DOM.
Yeah.
I mean, I know you get a lot of that, don't you?
You get a lot of messages.
Like you'll receive one now saying, are you free in half an hour?
Oh, yeah.
The worst for it is adult work.
I mean, I love adult work.
It's a great platform, you know, especially for sex workers.
But I've taken a lot of time.
It does seem a little archaic now, though, that adult work, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Well, I've spent a lot of time on my profile, and I clearly state what I will and won't do, and I still get the most ridiculous questions.
Like, what did I have the other week?
If I give you 20 pounds, can you help me finish my wank?
You can either do it at your front door or in your van.
Come to my van and whack me off.
It's like, what kind of van?
How could you turn that down?
I'd be all over it.
No, no.
I was just like, no.
Certainly, I'd be right there.
I was like, what's going through your head?
No.
I can imagine what was going through his head.
No.
Jeepers creepers.
But yeah, you just...
If you want to find a reputable one, then generally, I would say search on the Mistress directories.
Yeah?
Yeah, professional mistresses is a good one because they do it in categories as like counties and things like that, local to you.
So yeah.
So then what should a submissive do prior to contacting you?
Like, what should I have in mind before I send you an email saying, can you spank my bottom, please miss?
What should I have written down, ready to message you?
Firstly, you should have money because that's what you'll need.
Secondly, willingness to learn.
You also need to really think about your kinks.
Like, it's fine to not know what you really like, and it's fine to have like a taster menu.
Most DOMs will offer you a variety of things to try on your first time.
A lot of people are quite set in their kink ways already, and they're quite specific with what they like.
Because obviously everyone's got different fetishes and needs.
It's really important just to vocalize what you're into, what you're looking for, how long you're looking for, what the end result is.
And yeah, that's kind of the basics.
And always approach with the most respect.
Yeah.
As soon as someone annoys me off the bat, that's it.
I'm just not even going to bother.
I rarely get back to someone who hasn't approached properly.
And it's always nice to either send a voucher or a gift card, or just even a compliment, like things like that mean a lot.
It's a show of respect.
Yeah, that's quite good.
Especially on Twitter.
Yeah, especially on Twitter, if you're approaching a DOM, a lot of them will have a lot of thin DOMs, will have a tribute approach.
You can't DM me unless you pay this, or you've got this and that.
But just, you know, normal, proper professional DOMs, it's still nice to receive a gift card and things like that.
It's a sure way to get to speak to someone, to get someone's attention, shall we say.
Yeah, because, I mean, you get a lot of messages.
Like, your phone does not bloody stop.
Oh, yeah, it's all day.
It's all day long.
How do you...
Like, how the hell do you go through it all?
You just filter it out.
If it's got poor spelling, it's not for me.
If it's got something like, oh, mistress, here's my dick.
And that's their first message.
It's a no from me.
I generally don't like it when they text me, telling me exactly what they want straight away.
Like, I like it when they're like, hello, mistress, my name is blah, blah, blah.
These are the things that I would like to do.
What do you specialize in?
A few questions about me.
A couple of compliments chucked in there, and then I'm like, oh, I like that.
Yeah, I will reply to you.
Yeah, makes more sense.
It's like if you were going out on a date, or if you were in a bar, you'd buy a lady a drink if you wanted to approach her or speak to her, wouldn't you?
Generally, you'd buy a drink.
It's very much the same.
We're in a nightclub, you want to come and approach me, you want to make a mark, you want to be that one that I'm going to respond to, then make your mark.
Yeah, I think if I really like to buy her a puppy.
Don't do that, we don't want puppies.
Are you going to ask, are puppies in nightclubs anymore?
No, I don't think you ever were.
You've not been to the right nightclubs.
Apparently not.
So run me through your average day then, because I mean, I know obviously what your average day is, but the people that are listening, they do not.
My average day at work or my average day at work work?
I don't understand that question.
I have two works.
I have my vanilla works and my kink works.
Nobody cares about your vanilla works.
Oh, okay, so my normal kink work.
Your vanilla work is very boring.
It's incredibly boring.
Well, it depends on what day it is, it depends on who I'm seeing.
Thursday.
Thursday is my filming day.
Okay, not Thursday, Friday.
Okay, Friday.
I can have anything from two to three clients.
I don't like to see too many in a day because it takes a lot of creativity, and it actually really does take out of you.
People think it's really easy, but to be on the top of your game, you've got to constantly be mentally stimulating them as well as physically stimulating them.
So...
You mean beating them.
What did I do on Friday?
Friday was corporal punishment in the morning.
So corporal punishment is spanking, paddling, ball whips, floggers, hands, spoons, spatulas, anything really, cane.
So we did that.
We did that beating.
I had the plumber.
I call him the plumber.
I had the plumber that was pegging, which is strap on, me fully clothed, him completely naked, taking it in the bum like a pro.
Little cry afterwards.
Little cry afterwards.
And then followed by last client of the day, which would be an edging session.
So tie and tease, really gentle, and then edging, speaking to them, telling them what to do, like jerk off instructions.
They have their dicks in their hands, and I'm just talking to them and looking them in the eye, making them do things to themselves, while seducing them and getting them to edge.
So basically to the point of ejaculation, stop, have a rest, then up to the point of ejaculation again and see how many times they can go without exploding.
That sounds like murder.
People love it.
Really?
Yeah.
No.
They do.
I'm not a fan already.
It's a massive orgasm at the end, I'm told.
Really?
It's very popular.
I'm all right without, I think, a pass.
It's called gooning, actually.
If you edge and edge and edge to a certain person, they'll be like, I'm gooning over you.
And you're like, okay.
Gooning?
Gooning.
Gooning.
I'm not like, hey, you guys.
No, not that kind of gooning.
Because that'd be weird.
Gooning like, oh, I'm gooning over you, mistress.
It's like a slang term for edging.
Yeah, ridiculous.
Oh god, I'm going to have to press pause.
No, I can continue.
Stop it now.
Hey, you guys.
Oh, that's very funny.
Oh well.
So what's the best way, then, for somebody to explain their kinks and limits to you when they haven't already seen you before?
What, like in an email?
Yeah, like how should I contact a DOMINATRIX and say, I've seen DOMINATRIX before, and I now want to contact a brand new one and say, hey, this is me.
Okay.
Yeah, so you'll tell them what you like.
You'll give them a list of things that you like.
So, hi, I'm into chastity, teasing, denying, feet, foot worship, facing, all of those different things.
And then the DOMINATRIX will get back to you and say, well, hello.
Hello, there, young one.
Really old one.
I offer this, this, this.
These are my limits.
This is what I'm happy to do.
And then generally, if it's a good DOM, they'll ask you back what your limits are.
Because it's very important to stick to limits and be consensual unless you're doing non-consensual consenting.
Yeah, that makes sense.
And then I'm assuming you rehash this conversation again prior to going into battle.
Yeah, I always, if it's a new way into battle, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!
Ten men were in his bum.
Um, authority!
That's Wednesdays, right?
Yeah, no, that's Wednesdays.
Um, so yeah, no, everyone is different, everyone has different limits.
Um, there is just a crazy variety of all the things.
Like, I don't offer everything, because one, I couldn't.
Two, I don't want to.
Like, I do DOMINATRIX because I enjoy it.
It's, you know, money is a great part, but I do it for the best part, because I enjoy it.
I enjoy it greatly, so.
Yeah, okay.
So I'm assuming you turn people down relatively often, then?
Oh, all the time, all the time, yeah.
Like, every day all the time?
Yeah, every day, every day.
There's at least one person that I'm turning down.
Really?
Yeah, because if I don't like it, and I don't feel like I'm going to put my all into it, then I don't want to do it.
If I get bad vibes, I'm definitely not going to put myself in risk.
Yeah, I've heard you muttering bad vibes at your phone quite often.
Yeah, you can get a real sense of someone sometimes from the messages.
And as a dominant woman, I can already see when someone's going to try and top me from the bottom, and I don't want that.
Yeah, you get a lot of those messages that go along the lines of how much to shag you and stuff like that, don't you?
Yeah, I get so many of them.
And that's when you know that they blatantly haven't read your profile.
Yeah, and they're just like, oh, I'm submissive.
I'm like, you're not at all.
You just wanted to see if you can...
There seems to be this real thing where people like to visit DOMs and see if they can turn them, and it's really not endearing at all.
It's laughable.
Yeah, it's gross.
It's just gross.
I'm just like, keep your money, shove it up your arse, enjoy yourself, goodbye.
Like, I think some people think that I'm that hard up for money, that they're like, oh yeah, how much to do this?
And I'm like, there is nothing that's going to make me change my morals on this kind sir, goodbye.
No, not even a puppy.
Shove that up your arse too.
Piss off.
Oh gosh.
No, don't do that.
Not the puppy.
There's probably a market for that, I think.
There probably is.
I mean, there's hamsters.
These Germans will do anything.
So this is something, I was speaking to our friend Haley the other day about you.
We were recording a new episode.
Oh God, I've not even heard this.
For a new series that I'm doing, where I essentially bring people in, some like friends and family and workmates and stuff like that.
Some of them know about your life, your second life, should I say.
And some of them don't.
And I'm going to tell them whilst recording it, just to see what happens.
Gosh, can we not?
It's pretty evil, right?
That's horrendous.
Why would you do this?
Just because I'm a horrible person.
But anyway, I was talking to her about this the other day, and I wrote it down, so I wanted to ask you about it, because I wasn't really sure why you stood.
And essentially, it's married clients.
What about them?
That's something you do.
Yeah, 100%.
How do you feel about them morally?
I do not morally care.
Why?
Because I'm not fucking them.
I don't care because my relationship with you, I'm honest about everything we do.
I'm honest about what I do.
I have my limits.
I stick to my limits.
And if a man is gonna...
Most of the time, I don't even know if they're married.
We don't really converse about things like that.
They're there to get their rocks off.
And as long as it's in a safe environment, and they stick within the parameters and the limits, then...
Parameters, yeah.
Parameters, parameters.
Yeah, as long as they stick to that, and they're respectful, then I don't mind.
I think everyone has a part of themselves that they hide from their partner.
And I feel that there is no shame.
I don't believe that you can have a partner, and they can fulfill every sexual need of yours.
There's a lot of submissives who would love to do this with their girlfriends and their wives, but the thought of almost coming out to them and saying, look, can you do this, horrifies them because they know that their partners would be absolutely disgusted.
Yeah, but surely that person, your partner, should be the one person that you can say, would you mind sticking a fork in my bumhole?
Okay, we've not done forks.
That should be the one person though, right?
No, because imagine if your partner, you've fallen in love with someone, and then they're really submissive, you're really submissive, and you're asking them to be dominant, and they're like, what?
And they're like, I don't even know how to peg.
It's just easier to go and see a professional, like, I love you dearly, but I wouldn't want you to give me a haircut.
I want that service done by a professional.
If you're a submissive, you want certain things done to you in a certain way, go to a professional.
It's clean, it's safe.
You know, I'm not going to text them and say, oh hey, I miss you so much and that.
It's a service.
It was done, and we had a great time, and you did your business, I did my business, and that's it at the end of the day.
Let it be on their conscience.
That's probably the most sense you've ever made.
That whole haircut thing.
Just then I understood that more than anything else you've ever said.
You know, why can't married people...
And you talk a lot.
Why can't married people have fun?
I'm not all up for like affairs and things like that, but what I'm doing is a service.
It's doing something that...
Yeah, but at what point does going to see a DOMINATRIX then become an affair?
If you're fucking them, I think.
What?
That's where the line is.
I think if you have...
Yeah, I think if you have a real intimate relationship...
It's a real muddy area, isn't it?
Yeah.
It is a real muggy, muddy, murky area, but at the end of the day...
I was going to say, as long as you're not hurting anyone, which I am, it's okay.
I don't know, you'd have to ask them, really, because I'm very honest with you about what I do.
Try getting them in here.
I'll just tie them up.
Can you just make them do it, please?
Yeah, okay, I'll tie them up to the chair.
Sweet, oh my god.
Coming up soon.
Coming up soon for my next session.
Why this married guy sees a DOMINATRIX.
Yeah, I don't...
Yeah, I don't know.
Well, you haven't helped me at all.
See, I spoke to Hayley about this.
I didn't get anywhere with it.
I thought, you know what I'll do?
I think...
I'll speak to MP and she'll tell me exactly why and how it works.
But you've just made the waters muddier.
No, I haven't.
I think...
You've made them much muddier.
My opinion is it's okay.
I don't think that your partner can give you everything you want emotionally and sexually.
And I think it's okay to go and get your kick somewhere else.
Like I said, there's a part of ourselves that we never show anyone else.
And whether it be that...
Yeah.
Then that's fine, you know.
So it would be cool if I went and saw a DOMINATRIX then?
Well, not really, because I specialize in it.
It would be cool if I went and saw a DOMINATRIX that specializes in something you don't?
Yeah, I would be alright with that, yeah.
Because I'm a DOMINATRIX, so I know.
There's certain things I can't do.
If you were like, babe, could you stick needles through my testicles?
Absolutely not.
I'd be like, yeah, okay, I've got a friend that could do that for you.
Can I observe and learn?
Can I observe and learn?
Can I make notes, please?
Yeah, and help?
I'll bring a dictaphone and a pen.
Sounds terrible.
Yeah, no, I'd be okay with that.
I mean, we've done some fruitaceous things in our vanilla kink lives together.
I don't think we've ever had a vanilla life.
That's not a thing.
We've not done that.
I think we did maybe the first weekend.
We were both pretending we weren't freaks.
We weren't freaks.
Freaking baby.
Right, so I've got a question for you.
Oh, gosh, another one.
Another one.
Are you excited?
I'm so excited.
What is the most misunderstood part of your career?
Oh, it's that I'm a prostitute.
Okay.
I'm a fancy prostitute.
Yeah.
That's probably the most, yeah, that's one of them.
Why do you think that is?
Is it just narrow mindedness, or people just don't understand what you do?
People don't understand it.
People don't understand DOMINATRIX.
They just think it's all about, what they see is the stuff they see on YouPorn.
On what, sorry?
That YouPorn and the porn hubs, and all of the porny porn sites.
I've never heard of these sites.
All these pornography sites.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Okay, pornography sites.
Give the impression that this is what it's like.
But at the end of the day, people have got to remember that they're selling porn.
So, some people will session, and some people will have sex with their slaves, and that, you know, all the power to them.
I'm not ever here to kink shame, or judge, or anything.
Every mistress does things differently.
Don't worry, I'll do that part for you.
But everyone does something differently.
So, yeah, it's what it is.
That's what people think.
They think it's dirty, and seedy, and actually, I have some really good relationships with my subs.
Yeah, you do.
And we have great fun.
I go out for lunch with them.
We go for picnics, go for walks.
Really good for mental health.
One of my subs, I've only ever done one real life session with him, and all of the other sessions we've done have been us going into geek stores, me telling him to do his steps every day, daily, meeting his exercise targets, and he sends me whatever he eats every day so I can watch his weight for him, because that's what he wanted.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, it's not always about punishing people or sticking things up their arse or making them eat a mushed up banana between my toes.
There's so much more to it, and I think people forget that we're humans.
It is a huge part of your career.
Is career, is that the right word?
I can't think of another accepted vernacular for it.
Yeah, it's career.
I put my gear on and I go to work, don't I?
Yeah, I suppose so.
I wear a uniform.
I forgot what I was going to say now.
A huge part of your, I'm going to say career again.
A huge part of your career, I've noticed since you started doing this, well, essentially full time, I suppose, is that you spend so much time in aftercare with your clients.
Oh, yeah.
Like as much time as you do in a session easily.
Oh, yeah, 100%.
Which is just mental.
That never occurred to me that that was needed.
I'm stuttering.
It never occurred to me that that was something that was needed.
It's not always needed, but it's just really good practice.
It's like, you know, your workbooks, the health and safety books that you read at work, which you're meant to read, but you don't.
No, I've also never read them.
Exactly.
It's like reading instructions to dishwasher.
But yeah, no, after care is really...
We're dealing with people.
We're dealing with people.
And, you know, these people have gone through...
If you've gone through a really heavy two-hour session of breath play, latex, things like that, you might come out a bit shell shocked.
So I always offer a nice sugary cup of tea and a biscuit, which everyone always finds so odd.
I'm not like, just fuck off home.
I'm like, all right, poppet, are you OK now?
Do you need a shower?
Do you want to freshen up?
Do you want a brew?
Yeah, do you want a little cuppa?
Yeah?
And they're like, I find it so bizarre how you go from, fuck you, you do as I say, to, all right, darling, yeah?
Do you want a little bicky?
Little bicky?
Go on, then.
Would you like a fairy cake?
Would you?
I've baked this lovely banana bread in lockdown.
Would you like some?
Fucking banana bread.
But yeah, no, I deal with people all day long, and people need to be looked after.
And some of the stuff that we do is really intense.
Some people have feelings of guilt because they are in relationships.
And sometimes it's just good to talk things through with people after they've been through something.
That's nice.
And yeah, I stay in touch with loads of them.
A lot of them look after me, and they have done since lockdown.
They've sent little vouchers.
I've had one that cooks for me and brings me food, lots of gifts through the post.
I've even had vet bills paid for me, all sorts.
So I've been really, really lucky that I've got some really tremendous submissives in my life.
Yeah, you seem to have a good bunch.
Yeah, I have a really good crowd.
I think I'm quite lucky.
I'm very picky.
You've got a bragging right, and I just want to make sure I'm correct in this, that every single submissive that's been to see you, other than the guy that lives really far away, has been to see you again and again and again since, right?
Yeah, I've got my regulars.
There's some that obviously you can't afford it.
Yeah, but you haven't had any that have been once and never come back.
Oh no, no, I've always had a really good...
That's crazy.
Yeah, there was one guy that came twice and then I never saw him again, but that's because I think it was more on his part.
He was a bit mentally unhinged, shall we say.
Was that the guy that fell in love with you?
That might have been him.
That's understandable.
Yeah, I've had many, many a man fall in love.
Oh my god.
I sucked the souls out of them.
But it is, you know, it's part of being a good submissive.
It's probably, you know, you find your mistress attractive, you adore them, and that's, it comes part and parcel.
You need to adore your mistress.
You need to put her first.
That's a big part of being submissive.
And that's what a lot of people don't understand in a DS relationship.
Her needs come before yours.
100%.
Fair enough.
So you were saying a minute ago that the misunderstood part of your career is that people often think that it's the same as being a brass.
And I would say the second one is that people think we're just bitches.
We're hard, fierce.
All we do is spank and peg and do all this brutal stuff.
When actually, it's so far from the truth.
That's only like 30% of what I do.
Some of it's real light, sensual stuff, like even massage play and ice cubes and sensory play and sensory deprivation.
So, yeah, like it's...
Yeah, and you do like puppy play and stuff like that.
Oh, yeah, puppy play.
I mean, you can't be brutal doing puppy play, surely?
Well, you can be, but I choose not to be.
But every DOM is different, and I think that's also a different misconception is that we're all the same.
We're not.
You get so many different types.
You get the like the governess, the corporal punishment lady.
You get mummy DOMs.
There's all different types of DOMs.
A mummy DOM.
A mummy DOM.
Yeah, so like an older mother figure that sort of mummies them like, it's okay, you're all right.
That's very Freudian, isn't it?
Yeah, but this is where everyone's fetishes and kinks come from, is your adolescence.
Something imprinted on you as a young person, and then like as you were growing up in your horny days, and then it's imprinted on you.
They're like serial killers.
Something pretty nasty has come from their past, and they're bringing it up into, do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's kind of frightening that you've likened what you do to being a serial killer.
No, no, well, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
That's it, if the hat fits, love, eh?
Right, so common myths, common myths about your life and your role.
That I fuck them.
I don't, well, I do in the bum, but I'm fully clothed.
You made me shudder again.
That was the second time already.
That every DOMINATRIX's boyfriend or girlfriend is a submissive, because you're not.
So that's a real common one.
Oh, right, this is a myth.
A lot of DOMINATRIXs, they think that, you know, that if you're a DOMINATRIX, you're naturally a submissive partner, and that's not true.
That's not true.
Although actually, it's really common.
A lot of the DOMINATRIXs that I know and see actually have ended up marrying their submissives.
Really?
So there's hope for me yet.
Other myths?
What myths?
Yeah, I don't think it is.
Well, I guess it is a myth, isn't it?
The whole DOMINATRIXs end up with a partner that's a submissive.
Because I think most of the ones that we know, they're with partners that are submissive, right?
Hmm.
Maybe you just lucked out.
There's still time.
There very much is.
So what is, like, for you, what is more pleasing for you?
Is it a sub that's, you know, submissive and one just wants to please and stuff?
Or is it your physical punishment side of things?
What do you enjoy the most?
Both.
I couldn't choose one.
No, you've got to.
Gun to the head scenario.
Then I shoot you.
And then the problem's gone away.
Gun to the head scenario.
Yeah, you, I shoot you.
Do you like the submissive, real submissive types?
Or do you like kicking shit out of them?
Oh, I like both.
It depends what mood I'm in.
I've got two different moods.
I've got one that's really loving and kind, and I want to look after them because they look after me.
And the other one is, you've turned up 10 minutes late.
I'm going to beat the shit out of you.
So just never know who I'm going to get on the day.
I've heard them when they've been here late.
That's hilarious.
I'm just, yeah.
I posted up a video the other day, actually.
I'm the only fan of the guy who turned up late.
Went home with a rather sore bottom.
Oh, really?
Yeah, he did.
Beat him.
He loved it.
Kicking the balls as well.
He took it like a pro, to be fair.
Very flinchy.
I sent it to him earlier, and he had a right old laugh.
Did he?
Yeah, he messaged me.
He was like, who's that lucky bastard?
And he went, oh my God, it is me.
So funny.
That's ridiculous.
I know, so funny.
So you have like personal, you have like, I don't know what you call them, slaves?
Lifestyle slaves.
Lifestyle slaves.
You have personal lifestyle slaves that essentially look after you.
Yeah.
Outside of the Dominatrix-y role, yeah?
Yeah, so I've got a couple of them.
How does somebody, how does someone, how does a submissive become that guy?
Because that is the guy that most submissives want to be, right?
They want to be your number one guy that gets your shoes polished and cleans your feet and I don't know, pays for your haircut.
So basically, it's a lot of hard work.
I think it's like a fantasy for a lot of people because they don't want to spend money, but it doesn't matter what kind of avenue or route you're going down, you're still going to have to spend money because if you want to be a lifestyle sub, then you have to contribute to your mistress's life.
So like her beauty treatment, things like that.
I have a few lifestyle, like I have about three lifestyle subs.
So if I ever need anything like a lift, which I've used before, haven't I?
After the last drinks, a lift.
If I needed my house cleaning, if I needed my beauty therapies paid for, if I just needed anything or a shoulder to cry on and you weren't about, or I needed to have a right old moan, or I needed a website bill, or I needed something like that done, then I'd go to them and they would do that for me without question of shadow of a doubt.
They would just, I would say jump, and they would say how high, but they've earned that.
It's been months and months and months.
We've done sessions.
We've, you know, really learned about each other.
They know their expectations, what's expected of them.
So you've essentially built up a relationship Yeah.
to the fullest extent without being the vegie.
Yeah.
Essentially.
Yeah.
If I'm being crass.
Yes.
Which I am.
You're crass.
So that's literally how you do it then, you just put the work in, right?
Yeah, it's a real time consuming thing, and it's not, yeah, it's not an overnight thing.
I think people just think it's an overnight thing, and it's not.
It's a real, it's a real hard...
Yeah, that's what it is, yeah.
So, I mean, because you use these people for...
I've seen you do it before, where you've phoned them up and said, I'm taking my boyfriend out tonight, book me a table somewhere.
Yeah, well, when the world was open, yeah.
Yeah, obviously when the world was open.
Yeah, I'm like, can you find a restaurant?
I haven't got the time to do it.
Can you make this, do this reservation?
And then generally, they have like a nice little bottle of wine for us waiting at the table or things like that, don't they?
We've had that before.
That was adorable.
Just like little things like that, real nice touches.
If I'm feeling down or I'm feeling really sad and they know how to judge it.
If I'm very quiet on my phone or I've not been around for a couple of days and I've not been my bubbly self, then I generally get like a little pick me up in the post.
So a little diary or a card or some flowers.
It's just being on top of your game, being thoughtful.
Flowers, that takes me back to Valentine's Day here.
Oh my God, that was mental.
That was just ridiculous.
God, I got so much.
I even got a phone and a watch.
That was crazy.
Yeah, but I mean the flowers.
Flowers were obscene.
Yeah, they were beautiful.
I don't know why I bothered buying you any.
I came back with two dozen roses, opened the door, and there was like 50,000 fucking roses in the kitchen.
I thought you were having a laugh.
Hey, it's the thought that counts.
You're not all there to outdo each other.
It's the thought.
Oh, I can't be bothered.
I didn't literally can't be bothered.
It's not always about the biggest, fanciest, expensive-est stuff.
It's not.
People are like, oh, look at me with Marla Booton.
I'm like, that's great.
He spunked 500 quid on a pair of shoes.
But is he going to pick you up when you're in a pickle?
Probably not.
I could go out to the nightclub with my mates and know that anytime I could ring one of these guys up and I could get home safely unhurt, not raped.
Do you know what I mean?
I'd have no money.
Unhurt and not raped.
It was a brilliant night.
Brilliant night.
But as a woman, having that security is really important.
And to have that trust in people when you're a DOMINATRIX and you're most vulnerable as well when you're drunk, knowing that those people are going to act within their limits and your limits is great.
It's great.
And that's what makes them really good lifestyle subs.
And I've picked mine very carefully.
Yeah.
Have you had one before you've sacked off?
Yeah, I've had to sack some off before.
Oh, some?
I thought it was just the one.
It was really sad, to be fair.
Like, it gets to a point where...
Yeah, it's just really sad.
It's like a breakup almost, because you spend a lot of time on them.
You train them up to what you like.
You speak to them every day.
And it's really sad.
It's like losing a friend when they go.
And people...
I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that DOMINATRIXs don't have feelings.
We don't develop feelings when we really do.
And we become really close to the people that look after us.
And it's really hurtful when they disappear or when something's gone wrong, and you don't speak again.
Yeah, it's got to be pretty terrible, I guess.
And it happens quite often.
Subs will pop in and out.
But the lifestyle ones, I've been really good.
I've chosen quite wisely.
Yeah, some of them do seem really spotty.
Is that a thing?
Yeah, really sporadic.
Yeah, that's a huge thing, especially on Twitter and online subs.
It's just a real big turnover.
They jump from mistress to mistress.
They seem to be there and on the phone and here like all the time for ages, then all of a sudden they just vanish.
They never existed.
Just go, yeah, just go on.
And then they pop back up again a couple of months.
Oh yeah, because they've moved on to another one or they've taken a break.
The thing is, if they just said, oh, hey, I'm taking a break, you'd be fine with it, but they don't.
They just go quiet.
And it's just like, it then makes you question yourself.
And you're like, did I do something wrong?
And then you're like, no, did I fuck?
You nearly showed you were a human.
I'm not a human.
I'm a cyborg.
Right.
Screw this.
Let's get on to the weird stuff.
Okay.
Weird stuff.
I want you to tell me.
No names or faces or anything like that.
Weirdest requests.
You know which one is.
Oh, I know which one is.
They don't know which one is.
Tell them.
Tell the people.
But it's also my favorite session, which is crazy.
Yeah, you are weird.
Like the stuff that I'm like, that is so gross.
You're like, oh, this is fucking brilliant.
Tell me.
Okay, so the weirdest ever one.
There's a guy that comes to see me, and he's on his ninth session, and he does some really weird stuff.
But the guy that completely supersedes this is he came to the house.
He had three pints of...
Oh, God, I'm starting to shiver already.
No, six pints of blue milk.
I'm going to try and breathe through this guy, sorry.
And a tub of live worms.
And basically, he wanted to dress up as a woman, lipstick on him.
So completely sissified and humiliated.
Then I forced him to drink this six pints of milk, which would make anyone sick.
It was full fat, blue, blue top.
That makes me feel sick.
Oh, is that what you mean when you say blue milk?
I was envisaging blue milk, not blue top milk.
The full fat, the real creamy cream.
And then, yes, live worms that he'd bought himself from the...
He was late because he had to go and get the worms from the tackle shop down the road.
Good Lord.
And so he downed all this milk, and then I had to feed him live worms.
And then I had to get him to hold them in and then make him sick.
That's...
And then he wanked himself off whilst being sick into the toilet.
And then after he'd finished wanking, I made a meat-a-zone cum.
Oh, I need a minute.
That was probably...
Yeah, that was up there.
I feel like somebody's just been sick all over my brain.
It was really good fun.
But it was really good fun because it wasn't actually that offensive.
I feel sorry for the worms, but yeah, it didn't smell like sick or anything.
Because he drank so much milk.
I was having a great time.
It was bloody hilarious.
That is definitely a weird request.
I did have a super bad hangover, and that definitely didn't help.
Oh, I remember that.
I was so hungover.
Where did we go?
What happened that night?
I don't know.
I think we just had too many to drink.
We did something.
And I totally forgot that I had him coming.
And then, do you remember, it was like an hour before, and I was like...
And he was throwing up in the toilet, and I'm trying so hard not to throw up on him.
And we just all...
Oh, God, that could have ended up like the human centipede of sick.
Yeah, no thanks.
That is just unbelievable.
But I don't understand.
I'm not doing the shaming thing.
It sounds like you are.
I'm not doing the shaming thing.
I cannot understand how you can get sexual gratification from something like that.
Because he's being incredibly humiliated.
He's being vulnerable.
When you're being sick, it's a really vulnerable situation to be in.
It's like when you're a dog taking a shit.
Okay, but why milk and worms?
Because milk is not offensive for the tummy.
It's not too acidic, and it's easy to throw up.
It's quite thick in consistency.
Worms are gross, and he likes to eat gross stuff.
It's just his thing.
He just likes to push himself into those boundaries.
He likes to push his own boundaries.
He's like, I don't think I can do it.
And I'm like, you can do it.
He's like, I can't do it.
I can't do it.
And I was like, you can fucking do it, and you fucking will.
You're a sadist.
Yeah, I am.
And that's why I'm a DOMINATRIX.
It's just frightening.
Yeah, some of the stuff you tell me, I do not get that in any way, shape, or form.
Bag over the head job.
I love that as well.
What do you mean?
Like a 3 a.m.
date?
I mean like putting in actual...
Clubs are closing.
Quick, grab one, she'll do.
Don't be so gross.
No, you actually put a bag over the head, and you restrict their breathing, and you hang them like a plastic bag.
Like a bag for life?
No, like a fucking sandwich bag.
Oh, like a ziplock bag?
Yeah, like kind of like that, but a really big one.
So I have a slave that does that, and he pre-orders his equipment, which is great fun.
So we've done hog tying with cable ties, which is brilliant.
Bags on the head, the first sized bag he ordered were too small for his head, and that was hilarious trying to get them on.
Please tell me they're not the bags I use for my sandwiches.
They may or may not be.
Oh my god, they are, aren't they?
It depends if we've run out.
Oh my god, I'm using asphyxiation, masturbation bags as my sandwich bags, aren't I?
You are so welcome.
They're so fresh.
Freshly breath-through bags.
Oh god, so glad my sandwiches don't taste lubey.
That's so bad.
Who needs lube when you've got spit?
Yeah, okay, brilliant.
You're the best.
I know.
Right, so what advice have you got for people, ladies, I'm guessing, wanting to delve into the world of becoming a DOMINATRIX?
Don't.
Don't.
Because I will find you, and I will kill you.
You can't say that, because you train people how to become DOMINATRIXes.
What would I say?
I'd say find a DOM that you like the look of, someone that is similar to the kind of things that you'd be interested in learning.
And see if you can shadow them, or at least get a few tippers.
Tippers?
What was that?
I don't know what I said then.
But yeah, definitely get in contact with other DOMs.
Speak to other people.
Do as much research as you can.
Research, research, research.
Trial and error.
A lot of it is.
And yeah, just always be confident.
You can't do this if you're not actually a DOMINATRIX.
If you haven't got it in you, and you're not naturally a dominant woman, then I would just say give up now.
It's not for you.
Find something else.
I think every group of friends has that one friend where you're like, she would definitely be a DOMINATRIX.
Yeah, like bossy bitch.
Yeah.
Talks over others.
The one that gobs off at the waiter and that one.
So yeah, just find someone that you can shadow under.
Don't do it to make a quick buck because you won't.
It's not a quick buck.
I think that's a misconception.
People seem to think it's like real easy work.
You just spank people and that's it.
It doesn't work like that.
It really doesn't.
You can make good money out of it eventually.
Oh yeah, 100%.
We have spent thousands on your year.
Oh yeah, but that's because I've got my fungeon.
And people seem to think that you can just do it from home with a belt.
No, you can't.
There is more to that.
You're going to get such a limited...
With a belt and an Anne Summer's dildo.
Yeah.
Oh God, please don't.
That's a joke that's going around.
That's a joke.
Honestly, the DOM Starter Kit is a dildo from Love Honey, an Anne Summer's PVC kit, and some, like...
Oh, was it a belt or something?
It was hilarious.
Oh, and a pair of old smelly socks.
I mean, some of your custom PVC...
No, custom latex things.
Oh my God, they're in the hundreds.
500 pounds.
Yeah, my mummification bag.
Hundreds, absolutely hundreds.
The equipment I use...
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah.
Your what?
Mummification.
Sensory deprivation, yeah.
So you literally dress someone up like a mummy.
They're in a bag, in a body bag, essentially.
Like Big Momma's House Mummy, or like...
No, like...
Brendan Fraser in the Mummy Mummy.
Yeah, like Brendan Fraser, like Tutu Khamun.
Okay.
That kind of dude.
Wrapped up, and you know, with a hood on and everything locked in, and you know, things like that were custom made.
They're very expensive.
They're leather, so it's very expensive.
The things I wear.
Are they leather, or are they pleather?
No, these are proper leather.
If you want something that's going to last.
You can't just be buying your dildos all off Wish and stuff.
You need to really invest in some good equipment.
Yeah, those fantasy dildos.
We spoke about this the other day.
I had a look at the price of the one line.
That's obscene.
Yeah, they're really expensive.
They're about £120.
English pounds.
Yeah, they're crazy, crazy expensive.
For a floppy dildo that looks like a dog's dick.
Yeah, horse's dick, actually.
Horse's dick.
No, they had dog's dick on there.
Oh my God.
They even had werewolf dick.
Oh, what?
Uh-huh.
Werewolf dick.
Oh my God.
Who the fuck, I mean, who wants to get fucked by a werewolf dick?
An alpha.
You can only say you're an alpha.
Somebody who's watched Twilight too much.
That's what it is.
You could definitely say you're an alpha if you took on a werewolf dick.
No, I'm all right.
Go on.
No, honestly, I've checked my diary.
I'm fully, but I've got so much to do.
I cannot fit that in.
Just the little one?
Figuratively and literally.
Unicorn horn.
Yes, they also have a unicorn horn on there.
They do.
And a tentacle.
Yeah.
One tentacle.
Yeah, you mentioned one.
I think I've got a fantasy dragons one, haven't I?
Yeah, it's black and red.
I've got so many.
I've got like a gay pride one, which I love.
Because I asked you how do they know what a dragon's dick looked like, and you didn't answer me.
I have no idea.
Well, they must have reference drawings.
No, I don't know.
They just did.
They were like, oh, look at this dick with some spikes and stuff on it.
Make it look cool.
I've got some questions to ask these people.
I've sent them a very strongly word of email.
Some of the stuff that you find on those websites are hilarious.
My mate Laura, the DOM, she...
Laura the DOM?
Laura.
Miss Laura Coates, my DOMINATRIX friends.
She got sent a sex doll, and it's just the torso of a sex doll.
And they were like, you know, we need you to advertise this and do pictures.
And she's like, what the fuck am I going to do with this sex doll?
Without a head?
Yeah, it's got no head.
It's just a fanny.
It's just a fanny and boobs, like literally a vagina, boobs and a butthole.
And she's ended up like doing videos of her fucking it with like a strap on.
And they've done really well.
She even put a foot in it as well.
Oh my God, the things she's doing to that doll.
She wore it like a slipper.
Yeah, no, she literally did.
Oh my God, don't.
But you know, we were cracking up.
We were cracking up, but she was putting all sorts in there.
She was like, it's a great wine holder.
I just came up with a really good Cinderella joke.
I'm not going to do it now, because the moment's passed.
Oh.
Good Lord.
So have you got any other DOMINATRIX friends you want to shout out, or is it just Mistress Laura?
Madam Malevolent.
Madam Malevolent?
What is it?
Malevolent, Malevolent.
I'm Malevolent.
Oh my God, I'm tired.
Can you tell it's been a long day?
It has been a long day.
Some of us have been busy.
You've done nothing today.
I have.
You went sunbathing.
Yes, I did with my slave.
It's been a tough old day.
I had to walk around a lot.
That was terrible.
It was terrible.
You need one of those subs that are into pony play.
Oh God.
Well, he was my puppy.
Yeah, well, you need a pony so they can horseback ride you around.
Oh God.
Actually, we were talking about that.
We were talking about that today.
He was like, I could probably do pony play.
I could extend into that.
He's like, anything that's that sort of play I like.
And I was like, right.
Anything that's on all fours?
Pretty much.
Yeah, it's the whole animalistic thing of it.
You want to throw him a curveball?
We'll see if we would do like ostrich play.
I reckon he'd do anything I told him to.
He did.
He said that.
He said, like, he's like, I just would do anything you told me to.
I was like, would you eat my shit?
He was like, oh.
That's why would you go there?
That's so dumb.
I don't know.
But I just fancy seeing how far I could push him.
So, you know, I was like, take this turd.
No, I didn't really.
That's my limit.
That's my hard limit.
I just presented him with shit in a box.
Dane, do you know there's actually a thing called Scatbook?
It's like Facebook, but full of turds.
I'm not on there.
It's not my bag.
Don't anybody Google that.
Scatbook.
I'm the scat man.
My email inbox is going to be full of scat pictures now, isn't it?
I already know what's going to happen.
Had a real messy night.
Hashtag scatbook.
It sounds so hanging.
It's unreal.
Shush.
Right.
So real quick fire question for you.
Okay.
What is, I mean, I obviously know this, but this again is for the people out there that don't know you very well.
What is your sexual orientation?
Bisexual.
Bi-sexual.
Bi-sexual.
I like a little of column A, and I like a little of column B.
You do.
And how many lady submissives have you had dealings with?
A few.
It's more common than people think.
I've got some of my OnlyFans.
I've had some in real life.
I've had some on the internet.
Did I just hear an OnlyFans plug?
OnlyFans!
I can't plug myself because I'm anonymous.
I wouldn't be able to tell you all of my dirt.
You're anonominatini.
It's not going to last two minutes, and we all know this.
Oh, no!
Yeah, so you've had a few.
You do have some on your OnlyFans.
What were they into?
There was something weird.
Oh, farting.
Don't laugh!
Stop shaming!
Stop it.
Everyone loves a lovely love puff.
Farts are funny.
Come on now.
They make huge money.
They do.
Yeah, you do very well out of your bottom coughs.
I do.
That's my nan would call them.
My bottom coughs.
No, I love it.
It's good fun.
Why not?
Why not?
I have absolutely no reason as to why not.
Exactly.
Do you, girl?
I do do me.
Right, so how does...
And I do you.
I've got a more deep and meaningful question for you.
How do you think that your DOMINATRIX role affects your relationship with your very handsome, clever and funny husband here?
You know.
Who is he?
Come on, tell me the answer.
So who is he?
Who are we talking about here?
Me.
Tell me the answer here.
Oh, no.
You've got some of that wrong.
No, Jax.
Yeah, it affects our relationship.
Of course it does.
You get a bit on edge sometimes about what I'm doing.
Oh, yeah, I worry a lot.
Yeah, you worry like ridiculously.
Which is cute in some ways, but also kind of irritating.
I'm a big girl.
Please let me handle my share.
You are a great big girl.
Hey, not that big.
Fuck you.
Unit.
And yeah, no, no, we do.
Like, it can be hard for you.
I'm on my phone a lot.
I'm spending a lot of time with other guys.
So naturally, it must be really difficult for you.
But at the end of the day, I'm really open and honest with you as much as I can be.
And yeah, I tell you everything.
So yeah, I think you would have to have one hell of a strong relationship to be able to do this.
Yeah, but we do.
We have a really good relationship.
We've done other things in the past as well.
I don't know what that means.
You know what we've done.
We've done this stuff.
You need to look at the microphone.
We've done this.
No, I got all shy then.
We've done the stuffs with other people's.
Oh, right.
The stuff's in, the Menages.
The Menage.
The Nicki Menage toises.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I mean, like in general, you'd have to have an extremely strong bond with your significant other.
We're two really, really strong people, and we've got a really strong bond.
I mean, we're still together after lockdown, and I could have easily have slit your throat and done a runner.
I've slit your throat so many times in my head.
I've already cut your testicles off millions of times.
I often think about holding my hands by my back and running into a wall as hard as I can just to get away from you.
Oh, I wish you would.
Oh, God, I really wish you would.
Can I film it?
It would make great content.
Did you just say content?
Content.
It would make great content.
Why did you go French all of a sudden?
I don't know.
It would make a very good content.
Compant superbe.
Such a weirdo.
I'm tired.
I can't help it.
Yeah, well, soz.
So insincere.
So you didn't start doing this role of yours, this career of yours, until we were into our relationship, right?
This wasn't something you were previously doing.
No, but I've done stuff in the past.
I've done lots of things like this in the past.
I hadn't really thought of it as a full timer.
So you hadn't done, you were not full timing this when we got together?
No.
Would you have...
Can you hear the cat in the background?
Yeah.
He's so gobby.
It's my pussy.
So would you have done this without my support?
Look, if I would have said, absolutely not love.
Then I would have said...
No.
I probably...
It's always in me.
I've always been a really strong dominant woman, and it has.
And I think if you hadn't let me do it, then we probably wouldn't have such a great relationship because I would be very angry and frustrated and I can't dominate you.
And so I would...
Yeah, I don't think our relationship would have gone amazingly far if I didn't have an outlet to express my anger and my sadistic side.
I think it's been really helpful that I can go and do that, really, because it's in me.
It's always been in me, and I think that's why our relationship works really well, because I can go and do that, and that's a separate part, and you know all about it, and then we can just carry on being us.
I think I would have got there eventually, but probably nowhere is near the level of success if I didn't have you.
Yeah, but I mean, that's more the point I was getting to.
I sort of asked that question, so you could essentially say how wonderful I was.
It sort of went off on a different tact, where you were like, yeah, no, I'd have still done it, fuck you, I don't really care.
No, I didn't.
Well, you should have.
Shall I do the questions again?
Babe, would you have done this without my support?
Oh, absolutely not.
You're the best.
Yeah, that's exactly what I thought.
Sorry, who's the fucking DOM here?
Ridiculous.
You did better that time.
I'm just going to edit the first part out.
No, you're not.
No.
Right, so dick bag, if you were not a DOMINATRIX, what would you be doing now?
Taking loads of drugs, eating lots of bread, getting real sassy and fat.
Yeah?
Yeah, that kind of thing.
Having more cats in my life.
Dedicated cat mom.
I don't know, what would I be doing?
Not a lot really.
Dossing about, making poor life choices.
Yeah, just sort of bumbling along following the 9 to 5 and...
I was never going to be a 9 to 5 girl.
Let's be honest, it's just not in me.
You're not going to break out into song, no?
Okay, yeah, I would never be one of those.
I've never been that type of person.
I couldn't do an office job.
Yeah.
I don't know what I would be doing.
Realistically, I'd probably be doing my vanilla job.
But more of it.
Yeah, that would suck.
Yeah.
And I would be very unhappy.
And my cat that's mewing in the background would also be...
Yeah, I'm really sorry about Tako gobbling off in the background there.
He's like, let me in.
Let me in.
Shut him out, because last time he was a nightmare.
He's like...
So, yeah, you'd just be doing what you're doing now?
Yeah, just be bumbling along, really, and then going to some wild sex parties.
This way I get to have wild sex parties all day long.
What?
No.
Yeah, I'm just...
It's very stimulating for someone like myself.
Uh-huh.
And I need to be constantly mentally stimulated, otherwise I get really bored.
Yeah, like a kitten.
Yeah, pretty much, like a kitten, a ferocious kitten.
So, yeah, I don't know what I'd be doing.
Wowzers.
You're gonna have to give that some thought.
I will do, and I'll come back to you.
I've got a final question for you.
Oh, God, what is it?
Why are you, oh, God, every time I need a question?
Oh, because I never know what it's gonna be.
How big is your...
Fourteen.
Last question for you.
And you probably don't know the answer.
Actually, I know the answer to a fair amount of this.
What is in the future for MP?
I'm going to branch out, hopefully, when we move.
I'm gonna branch out, and I'm going to get a big studio, hopefully, like an industrial unit.
Gonna get a big studio.
We're going to do, and it's gonna have, you know, obviously, different rooms for different things, like medical fetish, puppy play, all different kinds of rooms, photography bits.
And then I want to bring in girls that want to learn to be DOMINATRIXs, do proper training classes, proper day at the DOMs, a bit like day at the horses, like at the horse racing, but day at the DOMs, it'd be like Ladies of Ascot, but with slaves and they're the horses.
That would be brilliant.
The sort of Ladies of Ascot could be Horses of Hell.
Oh my god, yeah, but we're not horse, we're ladies.
Potato tie.
Ladies of leisurely leisure.
I don't know where I was going with that.
So you're essentially on to bigger and better things, yeah?
Yeah, 100%.
Carry on building up clients.
And just get bigger and bigger, and a lot more content selling.
Content is huge.
You currently are number one in the world of videos in certain categories, aren't you?
No, don't say what they are, because it's a giveaway.
Yes, and I didn't think it was ever going to happen that quickly.
It's content selling-wise.
I've only been doing it about six months.
And yeah, I'm really pleased with myself.
I've got a few clips up there that have reached number one, and number one studio, and yeah, it's done really well.
And it's a huge thing.
More and more popular content selling.
It's huge.
Yeah, I think you're going to start doing some live...
Yes, live sessions...
.
Dominatrix-y stuff online as well, right?
Yes, interactive live sessions.
That's the word I was looking for, interactive.
So I can essentially watch you spank some old dude, and then message you saying, can you spank him again, please?
And I say, yes, sir, that will be five pounds, please.
Yeah, so you...
You want me to stick it where?
Yeah, that's exciting, right?
Yeah, that's so exciting.
That's what I've always wanted.
Can we have a room at the back for me?
No.
And the cat?
You can have a cage.
No, no, no.
I want a room at the back for me and the cat and the podcast.
Okay.
And then I can bring this along with us.
This is brilliant.
Imagine that.
I'm just in a session, and you're trying to do a podcast, and this poor guy, I can't take it anymore!
You can take it!
Take that fist in your butt hole!
Could you imagine?
I think everyone would love that.
Would they?
To be honest, it sounds magical.
I'd be like, get the calf in gloves.
He's birthing.
That doesn't bear thinking about again.
Come on, love it.
I think that was quite successful.
That was a nice little podcast that we've done.
That was enjoyable.
We've just done.
I had a great time.
Thanks for having me.
Have you got anything you want to add?
No.
Have you got anything you want to plug?
No, not really.
I can't really plug myself because I'm anonymous.
Giggity.
Giggity, giggity.
No.
Any words of advice?
Just make sure that if you're a submissive looking for a DOMINATRIX, you do your homework.
Don't be that guy with his dick in his hand.
Don't be rude.
Don't think that you're any more special than anyone else.
Don't think if you're a good looking lad, that that's going to do you any favors in the world of DOMINATRIXing because it won't.
You're shit.
Yeah, it doesn't seem to mean anything, does it?
The biggest amount of money, the fittest ones, nope.
It is all about how you approach and how you treat your DOMINATRIX, and that's really it.
Yeah, it's mainly about building up a relationship and a rapport with your DOMINATRIX.
You can throw all the money at the world at us, but we can't...
If we're not getting good vibes, oh, there's no connection, then I'm not going to bother for any sort of money.
Yeah, well, yeah, especially...
I think maybe if you're a less busy DOMINATRIX, perhaps you might.
Yeah.
I think when you've built yourself up to, well, especially the point where you're at now, where you can quite happily just sack off five people a day, say no, thank you, I don't like it, you'll all get there if you work hard enough, right?
Um, maybe.
I don't want to give anyone false hope or promises.
It's not easy to do.
We'll beat you down instead.
Don't bother.
No, no, like totally, but oh my god, shut up, like totally bother.
But I just want people to know it's not quick.
It's not easy.
It's not, you can't just decide to do it one day and that's it.
It's like anything.
It's a lot of learning.
It's a lot of training.
These are human people that we're dealing with.
And you've got to really be on your game.
You've got to really know what you're doing.
You can't go in there blind.
You can't just learn on the job.
You've got to have some sort of common sense and wits about you and things like that before really getting involved in it.
And make sure you do your homework and your research.
Oh, yeah.
I think research is a huge part, isn't it?
You can really hurt someone.
And I mean, like really hurt someone in not a good way.
If you do something wrong.
Yeah, no, but if you do something wrong, you could really mess up.
There was a DOMINATRIX and she killed someone.
Someone had a heart attack on her table, and she went through hell because of that.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it was a movie and everything made out of it.
There was a movie?
I do not remember this movie.
Yeah, very niche.
Yeah, it was a movie.
Yeah, and he died.
He died while she was in the middle of a DOM session.
And that is a possibility.
It's dangerous.
It's dangerous work.
You could get some really bad guys in there if you're not clever as well.
And they're not vetting them and you're not taking deposits.
And, you know, it's all fun and games, but there's a real dark side to it as well.
Yeah, that's a sneaky.
Obviously, not a lot of people know this, but that's a sneaky thing that you do is you get deposits from people.
So they have to pay you online, right?
Yeah, and then I get their name.
There's a paper trail.
Yeah, there's a paper trail.
If anything did go square.
Yeah, protect yourself.
Always protect yourself.
You can be the most dominant, strongest woman in the world, but it will just take one bad egg, and you could be all game over.
Yeah, absolutely it could.
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's something we've...
That's something that I would be...
We spoke about a lot when we first started this, right?
That's why we've got cameras and all sorts around here, and I get deposits and...
And the cat, it will do you.
It'll do you, yeah.
Take your eyes out.
He does not mess around that boy.
He does not.
His bollocks are big.
And on that bombshell...
It's been great.
Thank you ever so much for joining us, guys.
If you could, by any chance, jump over to Spotify and leave a review on here.
I'm trying to get this on iTunes, but iTunes is being a dick, so as and when you find it on there, again, leave a review.
If you want to go and see the website, the website address is www.danielvandal.com On there you'll find our episodes and a few other bits and bobs.
And that's essentially it from me.
Thank you so much for joining us and we'll catch you again on a new episode next week.
Oh, I forgot the name of it.
I tried to remember it earlier.
What's the next one called?
Oh, the next episode is called Wrecking Balls.