Episode 02/02: Open your Inbox

In this weeks episode we dive balls first into MP's inbox and what a bloody state that is. The majority of this episode I can be heard 'cry laughing' at the complete chaos spilling out from every nook and cranny of MP's box. This one probably isn't for everybody. Strap in!

Transcript (INCORRECT TRANSCRIPT)

Welcome, welcome, ladies and perverts to season two of the brand new podcast, My wife is a DOMINATRIX, starring me, Dan Vandal, and the other half.

Me, Miss Poison Candy.

Miss Poison Candy.

Oh, everyone knew who I was anyway, so.

Yeah, it got, it snuck out, didn't it?

Yeah, we were trying to do the old anonymous stuff, but it didn't really plan out.

Apparently, my voice is quite recognizable.

Yeah, plus, I think I said your first name in one or two of the podcasts, right?

Outrageous.

Apparently, somebody said.

Bad, bad boy.

Whoops.

Welcome, ladies and perverts, to the My Wife is a DOMINATRIX podcast.

Coming to you from a dimly lit dungeon somewhere in the UK with your hosts, Dan Vandal and his very demanding wife, MP, a real life dick punching DOMINATRIX.

There you go.

We're back.

Anyway, we've been away for a bit of a hiatus, haven't we, for like three years, two years, one, three years.

Two, three years.

I don't know.

We did it in lockdown, didn't we?

We've been on a hiatus for some time.

Things got very busy, didn't they?

We sort of fell into, I don't really know how to explain it.

What do you mean?

We fell into what?

Like, why we ended up being in the podcast off and concentrating on what we were doing.

Just because it got so busy.

I got so busy.

I don't have free time.

It was pretty busy anyway.

Yeah, but like, it's just...

And then suddenly everything upscaled, but almost in the space of a week, I think.

Yeah, it was crazy, actually.

Yeah, and then obviously we all went back to living life, and normally, didn't we, after lockdown, so we couldn't stay at home all day, not that I did anyway.

Well, I did, but just in my spare bedroom, in my dungeon, and now I have my own dungeon!

You do, I mean, yeah, you had your own one before, but now what's happened?

Like, I've got an actual unit that isn't attached or part of my house, so now I have, instead of one small room, I have like four different rooms, which is really good.

And it's actually an authentic dungeon, because it's deep down in the basement.

It is, part of it, it's three stories.

I know, it's so original.

Like, I really wanted that sort of dungeon-esque theme, and that's what I've got, so it's good.

Like, flagstone floor, brick walls, rafters, that kind of dungeon.

Yeah, like real nitty gritty, like, yeah, filthy things are going to happen here.

Talk dirty to me.

Yeah, shall I talk glory holes?

Yeah, you've got one of those?

Got a glory hole, yeah.

I've got a pegging bench, a spanking bench, a sex swing.

Oh, my God, how I've coped without a sex swing for this long is amazing.

It's really good.

I like the fact that you can adjust the height.

My knees are not taking a pound in.

Someone else has taken a pound in for me instead.

It's great.

Like, I just swing them back and forward and it does all the work for me.

No cardio involved.

Actually, pegging is cardio, as you well know, because I've got the t-shirt.

But not if you're using a sex swing.

Legit got the t-shirt.

It's like an upper forearm exercise, isn't it?

It depends how hard you thrust.

If you thrust hard enough, then they'll just be swinging back and forth on their own.

Perpetual motion, children.

Newton's law of physics.

So, no, it's going really well.

I've got a specification room upstairs.

I've got another room that I'm going to be opening with a seven-foot sex bed, a Shabari frame, and another bed.

Is that just a sex bed for giants or anybody under seven-foot allowed on it?

No, just the more the merrier on the bed, I guess.

It's a big bed for a reason.

It's got stocks and cage and everything.

So hopefully, I can get that sorted soon.

And then I've got the main reception bit, which will be our podcast studio, a little kitchen, a bathroom.

Anything that sucks is that I don't have a shower.

So golden showers are an issue, but it's all right.

We'll have a slag bath in the sink.

Oh, Jesus.

You had to do it, didn't you?

Straight away, we've just started, and you had to start already with the golden showers.

I know.

I really had to lower the tone.

It's kind of my job.

You did.

The bit I'm excited about is the podcast room.

Why is that?

Well, it's the only bit of your work I enjoy.

That's true.

The rest of it keeps me awake at night.

Actually, you did join in for one of my work sessions, didn't you?

Yeah.

Do you not remember?

No.

I've banished it at the back of my mind.

Yeah.

When I had that guy strapped to the chair and I made you come down and fix the door.

Oh, I had to pretend to be a handyman.

And it was really funny because you really got into your role and then just carried on handymaning.

Because I didn't want to have to go back there another day to actually fix the door.

I thought, I'm going to kill two birds with one stone here.

And you were there forever and it got really awkward.

The door was fixed.

Maybe we should set the scene.

We're doing a cuck scene.

What am I...

Do we need some sexy music in the background?

Oh, that's not very sexy.

Oh, I don't even know what you played.

So shall I set the scene?

We have...

I have a sub in my stable.

Lovely guy.

And we're doing like a two, three hour session.

It was his birthday.

He's become a bit of a cuck.

I've conditioned him to be so.

If you don't know what cuck is, I suggest you do.

You like doing that to people, don't you?

I just like conditioning people into what I'm feeling at the time.

I mean, kink is fluid.

So your likes can change.

Stop getting me off track.

You know I'm awful.

You just don't want me to tell the story.

And then he was...

We were having a great time.

It was his birthday session.

We were having loads of fun.

And then...

Was it his birthday session?

See, I'm getting carried away.

He was strapped to a chair, had a vibrator on him, had his mouth forced open, completely strapped down.

And I was like, yeah, I'm going to bring someone in.

I'm going to get you to watch me cuck you.

I'm going to make you suffer.

He's like, oh, I have no idea who's going to come down.

And luckily, he'd met you before.

So it wasn't too awkward.

Until you started carrying on fixing the door, you came in all like, yeah, I'm here to fix the door.

It was like Zach and Miri do a porno.

I was invested in the role given to me, and that was handyman.

So I handyman my ass off.

You really did.

You were just whittling down that cupboard for ages.

The glory hole door wouldn't shut properly, and you were just there whittling away.

And I had to physically drag you from there to get this cucking scene done.

Does the door work?

Yeah, it does work.

And I had a problem since, but it was very funny.

The guy was sat there like, what is going on?

I was looking at him, he was looking at me.

We're both looking at you.

And you were just there doing some handyman stuff.

But haven't we come a long way because you've actually got involved?

Yeah, I go to functions.

You did go to a function.

What was the last one you went to?

I've been to a few functions now.

Everyone seems to like you.

I go to your social events that you have with your clubhouse.

What do you call them?

Stable, like clubhouse, like Mickey Mouse's clubhouse.

Could you imagine?

Oh, Lord.

Get them all to dress up as Disney characters.

That's a really good idea for a social.

Like a filthy spin on a Disney character.

Oh, my God.

We were talking about this the other day in bed, weren't we?

You're like Cinderella, but S-I-N.

Because I always wear a top in bed.

What is it, like Donald Duck?

And you always wear boxes in bed like your Mickey Mouse.

Yeah, you sleep weird.

You've only have a top on.

That's odd.

No, you've just got to air out sometimes, haven't you?

So yeah, no, the stable.

Oh my goodness.

The stable has grown so much since I last did this podcast.

Can you explain for the people out there that aren't in the stable, what the fuck a stable is?

I'm pretty sure we covered this.

If you haven't listened to our podcast.

For anybody that hasn't listened to us in the last two or three years, we forget how long it's been.

Amy's going to explain what a stable is.

You said my real name.

I do it all the time, come on, get over it.

Stop it.

A stable is a place where all the horses know.

A stable is a collective of subs.

People call them different things.

I call them a stable.

They all work collectively to improve my life and their life.

And we can all get together and do fun stuff.

Like every couple of months, we've been renting Airbnbs, getting together, as many of us as we can.

And there's about like 10, 15 in my stable now.

Some are owned, some are not owned, some are collared.

Like everyone's got different status, but quite a lot of them are collared and owned.

Hold on, hold on.

What do you mean by owned and collared?

So there's different stages to being a sub.

It's like working at a job.

You don't go to like manager straight away, do you?

You have to work your way up the ranks.

So if you're looking to some DOM...

If you're looking to serve a DOM, there's certain like promotions, I guess, that you've got to get through to...

This sounds a bit like Scientology.

No, it's not Scientology.

There's no buy-in.

Do you not have to buy in at the bottom level?

And then after you've spent 10 grand, you can then become a...

I don't know.

Do you know what?

I reckon actually that's pretty much what some DOMs do, like a pyramid scheme.

Yeah, not a pyramid scheme.

Yeah, just like, yeah.

So how do you go from just being a member of the...

Wait, how do you get in the stable?

How you get into the stable is...

What have I got to do to get in the stable?

What I got to do to get in the stable?

Every DOM is different.

There's different requirements for every DOM.

Personally, me, you have to show loyalty, commitment.

I expect you to merge in with the other people in the stable because it just makes for a more harmonious...

Mix well.

Yeah, mix well.

Just have basic social skills.

Not everyone has to do it.

Obviously, I expect to do sessions because sessions is your intimate time together where you grow and develop kinks together.

I like my slaves to come to at least one social or one event just so they can get a feel for what the kink community is like.

Just look after me, really.

Be there when I need you.

And that's about it.

But it's built over time.

People think that you can just do it overnight or have a fast pass.

If you've got lots of money, then I can buy my way into it.

But it's not really that.

You've sort of got to prove yourself.

I've got to trust you enough to allow you into my inner circle.

And if you're not a good fit, then unfortunately, there's no amount of money that's going to get you in there, because I value the people in my stable very much.

So once you've got in the stable or I'm in the stable now, what's going on?

We get to go to socials and stuff, yeah?

Yeah.

So we have like...

You've got like a group chat and stuff.

Yeah, we've got a group chat on X.

That's what I mean.

Yeah.

I hate the way it's called X now.

It used to be called Twitter.

That's called X.

Twitter war.

Or how we've changed from two years ago.

So yeah, their stable is basically a collective for people.

We have a group chat.

We all banter with each other.

To be honest, they talk more with each other than they do with me now, because I pop in and out and I'm busy and it's nice that they've got each other.

They talk to each other about their own kinks.

They formed their own friendships.

And then, yeah, like once or twice a month, we have a social.

So we put an Airbnb and we either do a little bit drinking or not drinking.

We do some play, not play, like, you know, extreme.

These are the these are the socials I've attended a few of you have.

And we've got one actually coming up in a couple of weeks time.

Yeah, which is Poison's Paul Palooza, which is really good.

So normally I go to an event called Bitches Unleashed.

I'm a house dom and my wonderful one of my wonderful dom mummies, Mistress Buffy Brown of Manchester is currently down in Portsmouth.

She normally hosts the BU four times a year.

I think they've postponed the one for summer.

So hence why we've got a weekend where we're all free.

And the next one will be, I think, in September.

We normally join up and go to these events together as well.

But because we all have that weekend free, we thought, why not turn it into a social?

So we've turned it into like, we're going to turn it into like a mini play party.

But it's like over a whole weekend, we've rented this massive place with a swimming pool.

And everyone's contributed and we're all buying like inflatables, water bombs, there's going to have like games for the subs.

It's going to be like an Olympics for all of the subs.

Sounds mental.

I know.

It's so great though.

It's going to be so much fun.

And yeah, and we're all just having a couple of drinks, chill out in the pool, play some games, maybe a bit of play if it happens.

And everyone just gets to catch up because not everyone comes from where I live, down in Bournemouth.

You know, we've got people from Newcastle.

We've got people from Manchester.

I've got people down the road.

We've got people in Swindon, you know, everywhere.

But we've got...

Yeah, all corners of the country, that's for sure.

So that's what happens once you get into the stable.

Yeah, it's like being a part of an exclusive club, really.

You get to know me better.

You get more of my time, more of my attention.

So then once you're in the club, you can then, after that, you then get collared?

Is that like a next step?

Or is that a whole different step?

You join the group chat.

We've got people in the group chat who aren't owned or collared, who are just like mutual sort of friends.

And sometimes they're invited to the socials as well.

If we've all agreed, if the main people who are owned and collared are in agreeance that this person can join the group and be invited, then they're happy with that.

Generally, it's my call who I add to the group, but I'm obviously respectful of everybody else because I want to have a harmonious hive.

I like that, the harmonious hive.

I thought it was a stable.

I know, but I might have to change it.

So there's a load of steps involved in getting collared and stuff as well, I'm assuming they're not.

Yeah.

You know, some people are really, really strict with their collars.

Like you need three years of service, tens of thousands of pounds.

I'm a bit more casual.

I'm not really...

I know.

I know.

I'm not so high protocol.

You know, I do have expectations that people will lose their collars or they will get them taken away and they can try and earn them back.

But you know, if you mess up, you mess up and generally you're gone.

But yeah, I think I'm quite relaxed as a DOM.

I think just as long as you're doing your bit and you're getting on with everyone, you're not causing too much of a fuss.

You know, we're getting sessions in, you're putting the work in then.

And it all goes on energy as well.

Like if I'm not feeling good energy from you, then I don't want it.

So it's like it's a real social based thing then, isn't it?

This part is really nice because Kink, I think, can be so lonely as a DOM.

I'm kind of a lone wolf.

You know, I've got some DOMs that I talk to like Coco and obviously my female sub Kiki.

Do you want to give them shout outs for their socials?

Oh, I don't know their socials off by heart.

I have to get them up.

They're not that important.

They are important.

I've got a female sub and she's a switch and she also does DOM as well.

What does she's a switch mean?

It means that she can switch from submissive to dominant.

So I'm fully DOM.

Yeah, I'm fully DOM.

I'm not interested in being a submissive.

And she is a switch so she can switch up so we do sessions together.

But she is also collared and owned by me.

Oh, yeah, because you do double wacky sessions.

I've got a couple of girls now in the stable, which is really lovely.

The other one's not a switch.

She's not a switch.

She did try it.

Lovely couple came to see me.

Yeah, she wanted to practice to be a DOM.

We went through the motions.

She decided I think they both decided that it wasn't for her and they were both submissive.

And now they both come to see me individually, which is absolutely adorable.

That's cool, isn't it?

And they come to the socials and you know them.

Yes, you do.

Nice.

Yes, you do.

We will not name names.

But yeah, do you know what?

It's just surnames.

Just surnames and birthdays.

Oh, dear.

But yeah, no, so a switch is someone who can switch from sub to DOMINATRIX.

What were we talking about?

I was just trying to understand the jargon you keep dropping, because I think the last time we did this podcast, you hadn't been full-time DOMINATRIX for a while.

No, it was part-time.

I was still part-time.

Were you part-time?

Yeah, I only went full-time.

I feel like we've skipped so fucking much out, and you're using all this jargon that I obviously I hear around the house and stuff, and I hear at work, and I spend a lot of time chatting to other DOMINATRIXs when we're at events and stuff.

So I'm understanding they didn't go, but I'm conscious that some people who listen to this will be like, a what?

So that's why I keep questioning you when you're talking.

I'm like, what's that mean?

You know, like in a book, when it has the meanings at the back page, maybe we should do that then.

C&C is consenting, non-consenting, both female and naked male.

Oh, no, I can't be bothered with all that.

No, I just keep asking you.

What are the acronyms?

Oh, I remember what we were talking about.

So I said, I'm a bit of a lone wolf when it comes to being a DOM.

You hear that a lot, though, don't you?

I have heard that from a lot of other DOMINATRIXs.

Well, do you know what?

When you get a group of girls together, it can be awfully bitchy, you know?

I know.

I've seen the program.

We have this thing like, yeah, it's a sisterhood.

We all care for each other.

But some of the experiences I've had is absolute waddle.

And it's not, yeah, like people will pretty much fuck you over for a fiver.

They're still your subs.

They collaborate with people who have been awful about you and to you.

Just underhanded, snide remarks.

It is a really bitchy place to be, to be honest.

So I've got a handful of DOMs that I do keep in touch with that are lovely.

And then minus that, I really keep myself to myself and I'm cordial with everyone else.

Yeah, I think that's probably the best way to be.

Yeah, that's why I have my stable.

Especially when it comes to business and a lot of the events that you go to are like a business event, aren't they?

Yeah, I suppose they could be business.

But I suppose that's why I'm different, because I never treated it like a business, did I?

No, no, no.

When you're at one of these events, they're usually business type events.

Yeah, they are.

I guess, yeah, I guess so.

That's yeah, you get some DOMs who are doing it purely for the business, for the money.

You get some that are doing it for the lifestyle.

Yeah.

And then you get some that are in between.

There's some that have got nothing better going on.

And I just really enjoy the social.

Me personally, as a DOM, when I'm not feeling overwhelmed with it all, because obviously I speak to loads of people a day.

It's like nonstop, as you know.

I think it's really nice to have that social element.

And I think it's nice that others can have that social element.

And what brings them all together is me.

But at the same time, they can form their own bonds and relationships within those groups, which is lovely because, you know, quite a few of them have got nice friendships and will speak outside of what I'm doing and where I am.

They definitely do.

I see it a lot when we're at the events.

I see them meet up and chat about stuff they're speaking about last time.

They spoke.

And yeah, it's quite nice to see, I think.

And it's really nice because they're always support me.

Do you know what I mean?

They all get together for my birthday.

They threw me a birthday bash, which was great.

They did.

Yeah, they organized the dungeon and everything.

We had like, what, 25 people there.

It was brilliant.

And, you know, they do things like they bought me a voucher all together, chipped in and got me a Center Park voucher for a spa for you and I to use at some time.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

And that's really nice.

And it takes the pressure of just one slave having to do everything.

When there's a group of them, it's just, it makes life easier.

Like, we can get big Airbnbs.

Like, we're going to a castle next month with a pool and a hot tub and stuff.

Because everyone just chips in like, I don't know, a hundred quid each.

Am I on that one?

Yeah, you're on that one too.

Okay, you always go to a social, as long as you're a good boy.

I just enjoy meeting people, chatting, and I like talking to the other DOMINATRIXs.

Yeah, I always find it interesting chatting to them as well.

Yeah.

Because everybody seems to experience the same ups and downs in the sort of work you're in.

So it's quite interesting hearing other people's take on it.

Ultimately, it's always the same sort of drama, you know?

Yeah, I suppose so.

But it's just everyone has a different sort of spin on it.

So that's quite cool to see.

And I get the impression that not a lot of them get to meet.

How do I refer to myself?

In like the PDSM world, I'm not involved.

I'm just a bloke.

I'm just a vanilla that says awful shit to people.

And I'm just nosy and ask a lot of questions.

Neapolitan.

So I get the impression they don't get to speak to just a normal bloke at a kink event a lot.

I wouldn't really say that you're a normal bloke, but okay.

No, but somebody's not there for the kink scene.

Maybe we should talk about the panic that we had when we realized that we'd have to get you something fetish based to wear for an event.

Where were we?

Birmingham?

Yeah, Birmingham BBB.

So the Birmingham Bizarre Bizarre is a really good event.

They do it every month.

What are their names?

I like those two.

Oh, Beastie and Faye.

Lovely.

They're some of my favorite people I've met in the scene.

Am I saying that right?

In the scene.

In the scene.

Yeah, there you go.

In the scene.

Yeah, they're brilliant.

They do an event every month.

And it is, I think it's every third weekend of the month.

And it's been going for a few years.

They support...

What's it called?

The Birmingham Bazaar Bazaar.

I've always spoken about it before.

Yeah, the BBB.

So I wish we could go up there a lot more, but because it's in Birmingham...

It's very north.

It's very northern with lots of northern people.

It's good fun to have an actual bazaar, which is a marketplace where you can get all your kink stuff.

And then in the evening, it turns into a play party where you can do corporal punishment.

We went to one of their events that was like a rave.

That was good fun, wasn't it?

We really enjoyed that rave.

The neon paints and the UV lights and all of that.

That was a good one.

Yeah, I can't remember it.

Yeah, and we had to get you some fetish based clothing because you can't just turn up in your jeans and a T-shirt.

Well, you can for the market, but you're my partner and you've got to represent.

Oh, I do remember it.

That's the one where they didn't have the market thing on.

Yeah, the rave one.

Right.

It was a different event, but by the same people.

So what did you choose?

I don't know.

I chose it for you.

Do you know what?

There's a real fine line because you present probably more as a dominant male than a submissive male, don't you?

Did you just say probably?

You probably present.

I'm just a me.

I'm just a me.

But you're probably more dominant than you are submissive.

You'd rather wear a harness and leather gloves and look like a leather daddy than you would a wearing a collar and a dog lead.

Unicorn butt plunk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it was really hard to find something that didn't make him look like a gay magician, which a lot of dominant men do tend to look like.

So is the waistcoat.

There was a waistcoat and a beard.

And a ponytail and a rabbit and a hat.

Yeah, that is a common theme of dominant men at these events.

They do.

They all are like magicians.

Yeah, like copy paste.

I guess because there's just not a lot of clobber for men to wear for this sort of thing.

Well, for straight dominant men, I guess so.

So you ended up wearing a white shirt.

There's probably a lot less of them than there is DOMINATRIXs or...

No, dominant men are...

Homosexual.

What, events?

Yeah, events, obviously.

Oh yeah, events probably.

But like, on like, fed life and stuff, it's, I'm a DOM, I'm a DOMINAT man, I'm a DOMINAT man.

And like, of course you are.

Oh, on the line?

Oh yeah, crikey, I see it everywhere.

Yeah, yeah, loads, but yeah, at the events, the amount of dominant men on site is not a lot.

You might see a couple.

Yeah, but on TikTok, you'll see a load of them, which is awful.

And I don't want to see that because they're so cringe, the TikToks I've seen.

They are very funny.

If it was satire, you would die laughing.

I saw one who dated my friend, and he claimed to be a dominant man, and he couldn't dominate his way out of a wet paper bag, to be honest, and he was wearing a Peaky Blinders cap.

And then he did that, like, you know, that phase that everyone was doing, that red light, you had normal clothes or that it went boom, and you could just see the silhouette and that.

And he was there with like a belt, slapping it around like, yeah, baby, I'm going to mess you up.

And I was like, oh, my God, looking like a magician.

Was it another chubby bearded guy?

It was another chubby bearded guy, yes.

Yeah, it was always a chubby bearded guy.

You know how they sort of bring down our stock, they are.

That's true.

So I like chubby bearded guys.

You used to be one before you lost all your weight.

Anyway, we were talking about Birmingham Bazaar Bazaar a second ago.

Also, we need to swing back around to the fact that we haven't mentioned where the fuck we've been for ages, properly.

Birmingham Bazaar Bazaar.

That's where your other DOMINATRIX lives, isn't it?

Yeah, her name is Ranelle Chambers, and she has an awesome house that's absolutely full of kink, full of everything.

She is a latex master of everything.

She's just incredible.

She's a rudy.

She's going to kill you if she hears you say that.

She is a bit of a bellend.

No, she's not.

You love her.

I can't believe you bought her gravy as a gift.

Yeah, well, I don't know what she needs flowers for.

There's not enough sun in the north to keep them alive.

So I thought gravy, every northerner needs gravy, right?

Apparently so.

I don't think she ever used it.

From Happy Shopper as well.

Yeah, she's amazing.

I love rudy.

She's good.

So yeah, we go and do that, and that's an event that we like.

And I don't know why I was talking about it.

We were talking about your outfit.

You still haven't told everyone what you wore.

Describe it.

You had some like wet look, leathery, like pleather, wet look trousers.

For men, you had braces.

Think cheap 80s leather sofa.

Yeah, you had some braces.

You wore a white shirt.

No, you wore a red and black shirt.

It had like little black and red stuff on it.

Yeah, it was black with red accent.

You had like a harness or something on.

Yes, I did.

I had a leather, well, a pleather harness.

Yeah, but not like...

It's really hard with harnesses because you can go from looking like real good to gay.

I mean, not that gay people don't look good, obviously.

Gay people always look good.

That's one of the rules of being gay.

But you can go from looking like a dominant man to like a really gay man.

Do you know what I mean?

The harness is an area where you're like, oh, is this going to make me look this way or that way?

Yeah, I was conscious whenever I looked at myself in the mirror that I looked one minute, I looked like a butch fella.

And then the next I looked like a, I think, bear, cub or something, or bear, one of them.

No, you're a bear, you're not a cub, baby, you're a bear.

Yeah, and then the next second I look at myself in the mirror, I think, oh no, that's definitely a big camp man.

Yeah, you know, they need to make more fetish wear, I think, probably for men, because it must be, yeah, it is hard.

We've looked and looked, and we looked at ASOS men for some outfits as well, and they were just crazy.

Were they?

I didn't even know ASOS men did that sort of stuff.

Yeah, well, they do.

Yeah, there's not a lot, is there?

Even when you go and look around the sexy shops, as we often do, it's all jockstraps.

Yeah, it's all about showing off your body.

I feel bad for men, because not everyone wants to show them off, do they?

Yeah, I don't know if anyone's going to want me wandering around the Birmingham bizarre, bizarre in my jockstrap.

I mean, I would.

I'd find it hilarious.

I know the stable would.

I know a few of them that would love to see that in a jockstrap.

Hey, I know a lot of them that would like to see in a jockstrap.

You know, they swing both ways.

They have made themselves very well known.

Yeah, I'm not going to mention any names.

Michael, what?

Oh, dear me.

So right, let's address what's happened then.

So you've gone from a part-time jerking blokes off in the bedroom sort of girl.

Go on, just give us the little step by step.

A part-time jerking guys off in the bedroom, and that's just you.

Posh and jobs.

To having my own unit.

So we've got the ccification room up top.

Yeah, but how do we get there?

Everyone knows what the bloody thing sounds like.

So I used to do a care job, didn't I?

No, boring.

What do you want me to say?

And then my client had to go to care home, and I was like, do you know what?

I am so busy.

Why am I not doing this full time?

This is ridiculous.

Yeah, you were doing a part time, but also doing a normal job.

And it just got so busy that I was like, the money that I'm making from my normal job is pittance compared to doing what I love.

Oh yeah, when we worked out time and effort, it didn't balance it.

The amount of effort that you put into the care work and what you received from it was just not working out.

And it was just so many roles I was having to play.

It was just exhausting, wasn't it?

In the end, I was like, okay, let's do this.

We're going to do this.

What was it?

I decided to go full time in Feb 2023.

And then we got the dungeon.

I was looking at it, actually.

I got the keys to the dungeon in August, and we opened in October.

So what?

That's like eight months?

Something like that?

Yeah, that's mad, isn't it?

Yeah, after going full time, it was very very, it was six months, and we were like shit, we need to figure something out here.

That's when we started looking for something, wasn't it?

Yeah.

And when I say looking, I mean, my one of my very good slaves, Wednesday, did all the looking.

Yeah, literally, they're like my PA, aren't they?

My personal assistant.

Every good DOM needs to have that sub that will be like a personal assistant.

Oh, 100%.

They are brilliant.

They just ease ease everything off, don't they?

You just be even when you come to me with some nonsense whilst I'm working, I'm like, speak to Wednesday.

I haven't got time for you today.

So that's great.

Anyway, we will be going.

Yeah, they yeah, they searched out a place.

Yeah, we find it's the Apple, the meetings and everything.

And I just sort of toad along.

Does all my correspondence does all the business for it and everything.

And I just swan in there looking pretty spanking some asses.

Oh, and apparently giving fancy hand jobs, as you like to put it.

Yeah.

I mean, I use a machine.

I suppose that could be.

You don't even do that yourself.

No, you've outsourced that as well.

What do you do then?

You just.

I just sort of stand there.

Yeah, that's it.

Turn the machine on and lock up and go home.

Yeah, pretty much.

Put a blindfold on.

Job done.

No.

I think I put in quite a bit of effort.

I'm not comparing myself to other people.

But I've been told that, yeah, my sessions are very, very good.

Yeah, no, I mean, no one's going to tell you.

I average.

I didn't hear what you said.

I said no one's going to tell you to face how bad they are.

Well, the return custom suggests that I seem to know what I'm doing.

What's your success rate on return?

I'd say like 85 percent.

Some people, you won't get back because it's a once in a lifetime thing for them.

Traveling through and stuff.

Yeah, some people move away.

Some people just don't have the money.

Off you go then.

And then, yeah, just circumstances.

That's pretty good, though, 85 percent.

And I've had these people for like four years, some of them, constantly.

Long, long time.

So, you know, I'm really happy.

I'm in a good place.

Business is good.

Stables good.

I average like, I don't know, like 12 to 15 sessions a week, some weeks, which is high.

And then the online stuff.

Should we get on to the online stuff?

We haven't finished talking about how we got to where we are now.

Oh, God, see, we're getting sidetracked.

There's so much to have.

We got as far as Wednesday was finding the unit.

Yeah, finding the unit and everything.

And then we made the deals, got the unit.

Then we got the carpenters in to build the glory hole and a almost like a set.

Well, the carpenters that we got in are one of them is my brother, the other is my friend, and they are set builders.

And this is a different kind of set they have to make, which is funny.

Measuring out the glory hole was hilarious, because obviously everyone is a different height and everyone's dick is different sizes.

So trying to measure up for this glory hole.

I'm not even joking.

So I have this guy that loves to use the glory hole.

I have to put gym mats down so he can reach the glory hole.

Oh, I know every time.

I just I cannot stop laughing.

He's like, can you get one of those little steps that you have for short people in the kitchen?

No, literally like the poo step.

Yeah, I need to get one of them.

But I think that would be slightly too high.

So I have to put the gym mats in and he has to perch on it to get his penis into the hole.

It's hilarious.

That's incredible.

I know, cry laughed.

I honestly have to keep such a straight face sometimes.

I'm like, no.

I couldn't help myself together.

I don't think.

I really couldn't.

That wall in there looks like a plaster as well.

It's disgusting.

But yeah, no, so we've got lots of stuff down there.

It looks really, really cool.

They came and did it in such a short amount of time.

And then, well, I think we got the whole thing done in like three weeks.

Everyone was like shocked.

You know, it did cost quite a bit of money because equipment ain't cheap, especially when we're talking about fetish.

The cost of the things that I have is mental.

We did quite a lot of driving around collecting things, didn't we?

We did.

And I'm still collecting stuff this week, for god sakes.

I've got more cages come in.

I've got a CBT table, cock and ball torture table for those of you that don't know.

Do you need a whole table for that?

I do.

Is that really necessary?

I do.

You need a whole table.

Well, it's basically like...

How big is it?

It's like a big stool sort of thing, and it's got a hole in it where you put your cock through, and then I like trample on it, or I just bash it, and you don't know what's going...

You lie underneath it, so you can't really see what's going on.

Your cock's just coming through this hole, and it's just getting...

So it's like a glory hole.

It's like laying on the floor underneath a door.

Yeah, a glory hole.

It's got holes in it.

Yeah, kind of like that.

But it's good for trampling on it and stuff, and punching it.

And, you know, putting weights on it, all sorts.

Oh, God.

I don't know why this still freaks you out.

That's just...

Maybe give it a go.

I think I'm good.

I think I'm busy that day anyway, to be fair.

Oh, really?

I really enjoy ball stretching.

It's probably one of my faves.

Ball stretching?

Yeah, like using ball weights.

I can figure that out.

I reckon I can figure out what it is.

So I'm not even joking.

Wait, what?

Use what?

Ball weights.

Okay, I can't figure it out.

Go on.

Like weight lifting, but with balls.

So you get...

Oh, you hang the weights off the...

So you get this like parachute, or you can get like a metal ball ring or something.

And then you lock it into place, and then you just add weights.

So I always clip a bucket, and someone bought me an Easter bucket.

And I was like, oh, that's awesome, because now I can put more weights in the bucket.

And I shit you not.

This one guy took 15 kilograms on his balls, and he's swinging it around, and he's screaming and crying, but he's still taking it.

He's like, put more on.

I mean, the balls will go back in place.

They're not, you know, forever dangling really low.

But honestly, it's like 15, it must have been like 15, 20 kilograms.

It had metal chains in there, had ball weights.

It had all stretches, every bit of metal that I own.

Yeah, it was crazy.

Yeah, that's not for me.

That's not for me.

That's definitely not for me.

No, I'm not a fan of that.

So anyway, so we have actually got the unit up and running.

We got everything in there, took a long time, a lot of humping stuff up and down stairs.

Yeah.

No, it never happened.

And then we opened.

And then we opened, yeah.

And then I had a birthday party.

You had a birthday party?

It was really good.

It was really good.

There's been a few social events there.

Yeah, I had a...

A lot of Instagirls have hired it out for picturings and stuff.

Yeah, it's really good for content creating, a lot of couples as well, which is really cool.

Yeah, a lot of couples are renting it.

I made this space not just for me, but for the kink community.

And it's been really nice to see people...

Come on.

You made that space.

Okay, I came up with the idea of making the space.

Because I think Bournemouth really as a whole doesn't have that greater kink scene, to be honest.

Not like Birmingham, not like Manchester.

It seems to be...

Yeah, they all seem to have really good scenes, but Bournemouth is really...

There isn't one.

It's because the majority of people here are over 70.

And, you know, there is a munch, if you don't know what munch is, it's where people meet up and do like a little bit of play and talk about kinks and stuff like that.

It's normally held in the daytime at a cafe.

Well, yeah, sometimes at a cafe.

Anyway, there's one here.

Or at somebody's house and they have, you know, cucumber sandwiches and mint tea.

No, that's the swingers party.

Okay, that's the fun one.

Yeah.

Would you like a condom?

Yes, please.

So, yeah, I did get in touch with the local munch leader to be like, hey, do you want to do some?

Oh, she done pissed you off, didn't she?

Oh, good Lord.

You try it.

You know what?

You try and do something nice for your community.

And people frown upon you because you're a pro DOM.

The shit I own and the stuff I have is not cheap.

I think people think that they're entitled to just use this stuff, these thousands of pounds of equipment.

Which people are you talking about?

You're going off on one and I'm not really sure what you're on about.

So people generally on like things like Fat Life and stuff, they're like, Oh, hi, mistress.

Can I show you my dick for free?

Or hi, mistress.

Can you do this for free?

Oh, hey, mistress.

Can I use your space in that?

You're like, yeah, that's fine.

But I'm going to need you to put like a tribute towards it or use my space.

Yeah.

Anyway, I reached out to this munch leader and was like, Hey, you're doing it in a coffee shop.

Would you like to collab and do one?

Maybe here we can combine forces.

Let's do something nice for the community.

She basically snuffed me and said, I don't know what use your dungeon is for us.

We've got a lovely community.

I've done really well.

You're not very useful to us.

And I was just like, oh, she's a gatekeeper.

That sounds like so she basically is gatekeeping this.

So you were just saying, here you are, local social man.

I just opened a dungeon in your neck of the woods.

Would you like to use it for one of your munches?

Oh, because then maybe people might want to book it off the back of that.

Yeah, that makes sense.

That's a nice thing to do.

And she said, no, fuck off.

She basically said, if it's not for free, I don't know what you're doing.

Why does it benefit me?

Why are out?

Because I'm a professional DOMINATRIX.

She doesn't like it.

She's a lifestyle one.

There seems to be some.

Yeah, that sounds like a bit of gatekeeping there.

Well, you know, people are like that, don't worry about it.

But I've got my own community.

I'm making my own community.

I'm getting there.

So yeah, you are.

You get in there.

You're there.

Love.

It's just annoys me when people get in there.

There's no need for it.

Yeah, but it happens in all walks of life.

Yeah, I suppose you get it in every everything.

Literally everything.

Yeah.

There's dickheads everywhere.

That is true.

So yeah, that's probably why Bournemouth is a bit.

Yeah, I don't know if that's why.

But it doesn't help, does it?

No, but I've got, you know, Bournemouth is a seaside town and people like to get kinky in a seaside town.

So, so far.

Really?

Yeah, I think you just made that up.

Nope.

I get a lot of holidays.

We're off to Skegness next weekend.

You'll find out how freaky it is there.

A lot of people come down here for holidays.

I've got like four emails today saying, hello, I'm down for the half term with my family.

Can I please book in a session?

Is it just seaside towns or any towns near water?

I don't know.

I don't know how.

Could we go and have a look around Borton on the water and see how kinky is there?

Oh, for god's sake, why you always got to be like this?

Clarkson plodding about in his wellies.

My mum flashed her tits to Clarkson.

It went viral on TikTok.

There you go.

Facts.

Just see where I get it from.

That would be a great way to end the podcast, that would.

And on that note.

Do you know what?

We should probably wrap it up because we've probably been talking a while.

No, we're good.

Oh, I can keep going.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going, keep going.

Well, I was going to say next time, I'm going to open up my...

No, actually.

Let's talk about online.

Talk about what online?

Talk about everything online.

So the world of DOMINATION.

Oh, is this continuing on from...

We got the unit, and then we did the podcast thing, which we're also going to start using as a studio, studio-y, because we're going to do some other bits and bobs, aren't we, which we'll talk about in the future.

So we're going to do a video podcast, aren't we?

That was what I was going to talk about in the future, but...

Pretend you didn't hear that.

At some point, we're going to...

At some point, we've got an announcement about how we're definitely not doing a video podcast in the very near future, hence having a set built.

But I think we're going to do some...

You want to do some, like, helpful, tippy things on YouTube as well, don't you?

Yeah.

Like, buy this sex toy, not this one stuff.

So we're going to do all that as well.

And that and then...

Then you start doing online stuff.

And that's where we pick up from.

Go on.

So yeah, just like the world of BDSM is very much an online thing at the moment.

I'm selling a lot of clips.

Yeah, that's something that's really blown up, isn't it?

So I used to just predominantly do sessions when we first started.

So when we were recording this podcast, I was mainly doing...

Probably 95% sessions, 5% online.

Oh, I'm doing sessions, and I'm online, and I'm doing clip stores, and yeah, doing all sorts of stuff, filming all sorts of perverted porn.

So before, it was like 95% real sessions, 5% online.

What do you reckon it is now?

60-40 for me, because I like sessions.

But you've also got super busy in both categories.

Yes, I have.

I sold, what, 50 clips in two hours this bank holiday weekend, which is really good.

I do all sorts of filming, you know.

So it's like a 60% real session, 40% online thing.

Or maybe 50-50.

If I'm not in the dungeon, I'm always online.

You know what I'm like.

I've got lots of different sub-sites, and I've got loads of different categories that I film on as well.

It's not just DOMINATION.

I've got my gassy one, and then we've got another one that might be coming soon for other stuff.

And then, you know, it's whatever you can create, really.

Yeah, you're a busy lady.

I am so busy, and when I'm not filming and when I'm not doing in-life sessions, I'm doing them online.

I'm doing Skypes, I'm doing cams, I'm doing lots of crazy stuff.

I've done some really crazy cams, which have been great fun.

You have.

We'll do an online session review thingy podcast episode at some point.

Oh, my God, we need to do an episode as well on all of the unhinged messages I get in my DMs.

I think we're just gonna have to do a whole podcast.

I'm just gonna screenshot all of the crazy stuff.

Because I shit you not, there are so many people out there stealing my identity, also pretending to be me, and I get so many messages about that as well.

They're just going around being awful to people all the time.

No, seriously, it's a real thing at the moment.

When you reach a certain level in your DOM career, people will catfish as you.

Do you reckon that's what it is?

Do you reckon it's a certain level in the DOM career, or the amount of followers you have on Twitter?

I think it's a bit of both.

You reckon?

Yeah, I think it's a bit of both.

Because I had one or two back in the day.

I reckon it's just people who want to make a quick buck off your images, surely.

Yeah, and they do.

They pretend to be you.

They take everything.

They take all of your stuff, your links, everything.

It's crazy.

You have had people ask for refunds or something before, haven't you, on Facebook?

Yeah.

Like, I sent you money for something, and I've not received it.

She's like, I'm not on Facebook.

Don't have Facebook, love?

What?

That's happened a few times lately, isn't it?

Like, last week, I had three different Instagram accounts, one Facebook, one Twitter, and I had like seven people steal my video clips.

So I had to go and send them DMCA forms and requests to get them taken down.

And do you know how time-consuming that is?

People don't realize when they get into this that they think, oh, people are just sending you money, or you're just getting money for this.

It's not more than a full-time job.

Like, it is not an easy job.

The amount of people who fail at OnlyFans, fail at DOMINATION, like the thin DOMs that come and get a bit of money and then piss off.

95%, I think.

I'd have to double check it.

Hard industry, mentally, physically, emotionally.

It's a lot harder than people realize.

I find it incredibly difficult.

I'm sorry that you feel this way.

That's not how you apologize.

I will not apologize for who I am as a person.

Yeah, no, it's very...

It can be really draining.

I've been really burnt out recently, haven't I?

So that's why I suppose the socials and stuff are a really good idea, because it gets me reconnecting with everyone, makes me feel more of a human than just a service provider.

Do you know what I mean?

Because when you are just seeing clients, if you didn't have a stable and you were just doing this purely as a job, you would feel like you were just providing a service nonstop.

Whereas if you live it and you love it and you like what you do, then you can incorporate it all together.

Well, that's when it starts becoming a job, when you love what you do.

Yeah, and I would say 25% of it is a job, because I actually hate having to keep up with all the online stuff.

There's a shitload of admin.

Do you know what?

It's the admin that I hate.

I love turning up, doing my sessions.

I love turning up on cam, doing that.

It's all the rest of it.

It's getting ready.

It's the faffing about.

It's the cleaning up afterwards, the sterilizing.

It's all of that.

I'm quite happy to just turn up, get it done, do a bit of aftercare.

Lovely.

Those are the bits that I enjoy.

I enjoy the actual sessions.

Yeah.

I don't enjoy the having to post, here's this for $9.99 on my blah blah.

Hello, Instagram.

It's me.

I hate all of that.

I'm not...

People keep saying like, why aren't you doing more TikToks and stuff?

Because I hate it.

I hate it.

Yeah.

And time.

And you get banned every 20 seconds.

I can't put anything on TikTok.

I can't even wave a tit without getting removed.

Yeah, I mean, definitely not.

A clothed tit.

Your tits are quite pendulous.

Pendulous swinging titties.

But I think the majority of it is time constraint.

That's why we've not been doing the podcast.

We've not started the channel yet.

We haven't even been night.

Oh, we have been on like seven holidays.

Whoops.

Yeah, because we don't get to see each other.

We live in the same house.

And last, was it last week?

I think it was last week.

We didn't eat a meal together for four days.

We live in the same house.

It's insane.

We're just like ships in the night.

We are absolutely not.

Can't even get cheeky blowy.

That is an absolute lie.

Take it back.

No.

You're not getting any.

No more for you.

Darling, I'm stronger than you.

I'll take it.

Absolutely not.

Let's see that in the WWE, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

I do a lot of mixed wrestling now as well, actually.

You do.

You've got wrestling mats.

I do.

Do you know what?

I really enjoy it.

I absolutely love it.

Like a rattle.

One of my clients bought me a...

was it a Jiu Jitsu book?

How to do all the grappling and everything.

Which has been quite fun.

Hoisting Gracies, I think.

Do you know what?

I've had some really good sessions, actually.

I've had some wrestling ones.

I've had some tickling ones.

I've had some, yeah, tickling.

The tickling one was brilliant.

Oh, yeah, you like the tickling one, don't you?

I really do.

Do you know what?

I spent an hour tickling an Italian.

Oh, really?

Tickling an Italian.

I love that sentence.

Someone said, what have you been up to today?

And I said, I've been tickling an Italian.

And they were like, excuse me, is that euphemism for something?

And I said, no, I've genuinely spent an hour tickling an Italian.

Well, I'd love to hear more.

It was really nice.

And it was just really good fun.

Like, you know, I've got one guy who likes to tickle me and then be tickled.

But this guy, it was pure strap him down, tickle him.

And he was like, where is my most ticklish?

I can't do an Italian accent and I'm just really rude.

Is that like a bad guy?

He was like, you need to find my tickling spot.

And I found his tickling spot, which was ironically under his knees.

I thought it was going to be like his ribs or his armpits.

And it was under his knees.

So I strapped him down.

It's a strange place to hide a tickling spot.

On his feet.

So you get more tickles.

I thought you said you hid a hairbrush and a toothbrush.

I thought I was going to be an awful conversation.

Oh, God.

My heart went funny.

Don't, because you do get stuff lost there sometimes.

Yes, yes.

That guy.

Oh, my God.

I've got a sub.

He's a policeman.

I'm not telling you his name.

He got a butt plug stuck in his greedy bumhole.

And it was ridiculous.

And I had to fish it out.

We were worried.

He was like, it's got to get everything.

And I was like, look, if something like this happens, keep calm, plenty of lube, a little bit of pushing and get it out.

We did.

It was teamwork.

Teamwork made the dream work.

I think people panic in situations like that.

And that's the worst.

I don't know if there's any other way to handle that situation other than pure panic.

Yeah, they're like, oh, my God, I'm going to go to hospital.

And I'm like, no, it's OK.

I'm qualified for this.

This is why you've seen a professional.

Let's get that butt plug out together.

Yeah.

That's part of the job.

Yeah, that's weirder than the stuff that goes wrong at my work.

Is it?

Yeah.

Imagine going to the hospital.

Although, actually, the other day, they swapped coffee machines, and they've taken away the coffee I liked.

And now I don't have that coffee anymore, so that happened.

That's what's going on in my world, by the way.

I know nobody gives a fuck.

But yeah, you've not heard from Miss Poison Candy here for a while.

You've also not heard from me, and I have achieved nothing.

I feel sorry for you.

Not a thing.

You've achieved this today.

Well, actually, you've done some filming.

Oh, yeah, that's the other thing.

Yeah, we've got a media production company thing going on as well.

Yep.

We're starting to do a lot of our own.

Essentially, we're keeping everything in house.

Because I can edit like a son of a bitch.

I'm quite good with the audio stuff as well, lighting and cameras and all that.

And it's really, really funny watching your face filming whilst I'm doing awful, awful shit.

It's hard to film with the eyes shut, I've noticed.

So I've got to get, I need to get a stabiliser because some of those shots are a little shaky.

You wait, you haven't filmed.

I don't know if Final Cut Pro can handle the stabilise on some of my shots.

You wait, you haven't even filmed me pegging yet.

It's going to get down and dirty.

Yes, I have.

We've done that.

Oh, God, yeah, you did in that big house.

Oh, I totally forgot that.

That's enough.

I've been to more than you know at this point.

Can you hurry up and edit those clips, though?

Because they were like from two years ago.

Are you for real?

Unbelievable.

Can't get the staff.

And literally, full-time work, full-time dad mode, whilst you've sworn around having your eyeballs and arse holes pierced.

What is you talking about?

Whatever it is you're going to do.

You have your hair sewn on to somebody else's head and all that stuff.

Yeah, that's what I do.

I've just sworn around all day long.

You do.

Go on, tell us what it is you have done.

You have your...

My hair extensions.

Yeah, and...

My nails.

Yeah, and...

That's it.

Those cloven hooves of yours, they're not natural.

With the nails?

They're still part of my nails.

The foot nails, yeah.

What else?

That's it, Daniel.

It's definitely other stuff.

Eyebrows or something, or eyelashes.

Oh, yeah, just I don't get eyelashes done.

I get my eyebrows done.

That's just normal maintenance.

It's definitely something else.

It's expensive.

Tan place.

Nope, don't go and do fake tan.

You were in there the other day.

You come back and said, I've been on the town bed of birds myself.

No, I didn't.

Yeah, you did.

No, I did not.

You're out of rate.

Oh, God.

Anyway, we're coming up to about an hour now.

This is our first one back in a long time.

I'm going to keep it short and sweet, although it's not that short.

I felt like we just rattled on and didn't really get a lot done.

No, we didn't.

It was sort of a...

You just need to unload the stuff that you had in your brain, and then I think the next one will focus down on something.

It's going to be a look into the DMs.

Yeah, is that what you want to do next?

Yeah, open the door on my DMs.

I'm going to get every single unhinged DM up on here.

Some of them are actually really nice.

Some of them are like, hello, how are you?

Maybe we can do like Beauty and the Beast then.

Yeah, I'll do some really nice ones.

It'd be like a dog shit sandwich.

Yeah.

Where I get a couple of nice ones, and in the middle is just absolute pure shit.

These people, these people, when I read some of them out, you'll be like, excuse me, what?

Yeah, but you say the same thing when we text, like when you get a message of one of your subs about flowers delivered, all that, and then you'll get one of me saying, oh, dickhead, don't forget the car charger.

True.

That's true.

But these are more unhinged.

These are more like, I want to eat a bug out of your intestines.

Oh, God.

And now I want to eat your delicious desserts from your bottom.

That's not even that bad, to be honest.

No, it's all right.

Some of them are just really disgusting.

This is relatively eloquent.

So I will get a collective of all of these lovely things and screenshot them, and we will discuss in the next podcast.

All right.

And on that note...

See you later, fuckers.

Next time.